toxic_glory's journal

Salt

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:22:51 GMT

Title: Salt
Author: toxic_glory
Genre: Angst, general
Rating: PG
Length: One shot - 3041 words
Summary: When Percy chose the Ministry over his family, he had no idea what it would do to him. Did he choose wisely?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Completed: Yes
AN: This is a really long one-shot, but I feel like the length was necessary for Percy's entire story to be told. It actually kind of broke my heart to picture the scene between Percy and his parents.

--
Percy Weasley felt that he was extremely deserving of his recent promotion. He had, after all, been working diligently with the Ministry ever since he'd left Hogwarts and his serious work ethic had always impressed those around him. When he had been scolded for not realizing that his old boss had gone insane, he believed that he would never be able to overcome it; however, after slaving endlessly over reports that focused on such trivial things as the standardization of material from which Gobstones were made (not to mention an occasional exaggerated compliment or birthday gift to one of his superiors), he had redeemed himself as an asset to the Ministry. Considering the enormity of his previous blunder, it had almost been easy to fall back into the Minister's favor. In his mind, a few sleepless nights and empty gestures were hardly a high price to pay for a position as Cornelius Fudge's Junior Assistant.

My family, he thought smugly, will be overjoyed to see how far I've come. His mother would beam with delight, smothering him with affection while his father pretended as though he hadn't already heard the news through one of his colleagues. Fred and George would tease him relentlessly, though he always attributed their taunts to their overwhelming envy of his accomplishments. Ron and Ginny would each congratulate him heartily, and he hoped that his own achievements would inspire them to buckle down at school this year and follow his example. Maybe Bill and Charlie would write to him upon hearing the news to say how proud they were. Thoughts of his family's reaction made it difficult for Percy to focus on anything other than going home that night. In fact, as soon as his shift ended, he hurried out of his cubicle and waited in line for the elevator. Hurry up, hurry up, he thought impatiently as an old witch in front of him entered the elevator at a painstakingly slow pace. Finally, he found himself squeezed between the elderly witch and a rather large wizard as they rode to the main floor. Percy pushed past them both in order to get off the elevator as soon as they reached the lobby and he walked as fast as he could to the designated area for Apparating. He vanished from the place with a pop and found himself outside the front door of the Burrow.

Grinning with pride and excitement, he rapped on the door. "Mum?" he called. The door swung open to reveal Molly Weasley. "I've got excellent news," he declared as she stepped to the side to let him in. This was a deviation from the usual routine in which she would embrace him tightly and fuss about the bags under his eyes and how overworked he was. He looked at his mother and saw that she appeared to be rather stiff, her lips pressed together tightly and her arms bound at her sides. Perhaps his father had already told her the news and she was trying to contain her own excitement. Yes, that was surely it. She was trying her very best not to show him that she already knew of his promotion so that he could announce it to her. "Today I--" he began, but his mother cut him off.

"I already know," she said. "Percy...your father and I--"

"Molly, dear, I'll take care of it." Arthur Weasley stepped into the kitchen wearing a solemn expression. Percy's first thought was that Great Auntie Muriel or some equally ancient aunt had passed in her sleep. "Son, I think you ought to sit down," Arthur told him. The two Weasley men walked stiffly to the table and sat, not speaking for a few moments. Molly looked on awkwardly, standing by the door as if ready to flee the scene at any moment.

"What's the matter?" Percy demanded.

"You already know the Minister's stance on the matter of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's return, I imagine," his father said slowly. Percy nodded; everyone knew. "And you know," continued Arthur, "that your mother and I believe what Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter have stated in regard to--"

"Yes," interrupted the younger man, gritting his teeth. He wondered how his own father, a man who he'd once looked up to, could be so naive as to believe the word of an attention-seeking youth and a mentally unstable old man. Up until this point, the subject of their differing opinions had gone undiscussed, as though avoiding it would make it go away. In a perfect world, it would have remained that way.

"And you know about the Order of the Phoenix and how we're reviving it." Over the last few weeks, the Burrow had been the location of several discussions of the subject, and Percy had overhead them all. He nodded and his father spoke again. "Fudge is nervous. He's afraid that, in these times of uncertainty, a coup could lead him to lose his position of power. He knows that our family is in close contact with the very man who threatens him the most: Dumbledore."

Percy's eyes narrowed as he realized where his father was going with this. "You're accusing him of using me for ulterior motives."

"We think he wants a spy close to Dumbledore," Arthur said, confirming his son's assumption. Their eyes met for a moment.

"That's absurd," scoffed Percy. His hands were balled up under the table, resting on his knees. It was a truly heinous crime to insult the pride and competence of Percy Ignatius Weasley, but to hear the insults coming from his own father heightened the sting. "I've worked hard for the Minister. I earned this promotion through nothing more than my own merit."

"I know that you deserve to succeed and you're destined to do so. You must understand that I want nothing more than for you to do well in life, but there are more important things than flashy titles. We're entering dark times, son, and you'd be better off acknowledging the truth: You-Know-Who is back. We absolutely must take precautions and--"

"Take precautions?" Percy spat. "Precautions against what? What proof do we have that anything is different now?"

"Dumbledore's word," Arthur replied simply.

"So because some barmy old man--"

"Don't you dare speak that way about Albus Dumbledore!"

"There's no proof, though! The only eyewitness account we have is that of a child. Dad, have you considered that maybe Potter is just looking for attention?"

"Have you considered the matter of the Diggory boy's death? What else could have killed him, and don't you dare tell me it was that ridiculous excuse that Fudge made up about an accident--"

Standing up quickly, Percy said. "Regardless of how Diggory died, I'm not quitting my job. Goodbye." He turned, ready to leave, until his father spoke again.

"I will not allow a spy for the Minister to live under my roof," Arthur said, his voice shaking.

"Arthur!" Molly cried out. "You can't--where will he--"

Percy spun around to face his parents, his voice even. "Perhaps your lack of loyalty to the Minister explains your inability to afford books for your own children. Maybe you ought to take a leaf out of my book and consider the fact that your lack of ambition is the reason why we've always been so poor! I've had to work against your reputation from the moment I started at the Ministry--"

"Percy!" his mother shrieked.

Arthur Weasley had reached the end of his patience. His face was growing red with anger or embarrassment at being scolded by his own son. However, he did not address his son's bitter allegations. "This is not a game, Percy! Consider the facts: though Fudge has no proof of my affiliation with Dumbledore, he suspects me greatly. Suspicion's not enough to sack me though, is it? So he gives my son--who has recently committed a huge error in not noticing the madness of a certain Barty Crouch--a promotion, and out of nowhere! Something's not right there...he's using you to spy on both me and Dumbledore, and if you think otherwise then--"

"If you think that running around with an insane man like Dumbledore is going to benefit you in any way, then you're an idiot! When the truth about him is exposed, he's going to meet a great deal of touble and you will go spiraling down with him. I know where my loyalties lie--with the Ministry! They've never given us reason to distrust them, and if you lot are going to go around behaving like fools and betraying those who've kept our world safe, then I will no longer associate myself with the likes of you. I am no longer a part of this family." Mr. Weasley stood up as his wife began to stutter, going to stand next to her.

"P-please d-don't d-d-do this, P-percy," Molly whimpered, her bottom lip quivering uncontrollably. Percy looked away from his mother and hurried up the stairs to his room, where he began tossing his possessions haphazardly into his trunk. His hands shook as he summoned his clothes to come out of drawers.

"You're disgusting," said a female voice behind him. Turning around, Percy saw Ginny standing in the doorway to his room. The other Weasley children were with her, all of them glaring at him.

"You enormous prat!" spat Fred, pushing past the others so that he stood directly in front of Percy. "Maybe when the Death Eaters come knocking you'll believe that You-Know-Who's back."

"If they kill you, then I hope you rot," George piped in. Without saying a word, Percy turned back to his packing, closing his trunk tightly before making it levitate. It flew over their heads and went downstairs to wait for him by the door.

"Nothing to say? Well, then, that's a first," Fred taunted him.

"It's probably good that you're leaving. Stupidity is contagious. I wouldn't want it to spread to the rest of us," George sneered.

"Get out of here already, will you?" Ron barked. Percy pushed past them to the stairs, running down to the kitchen where Arthur was holding his sobbing wife.

"Percy," she spluttered when she saw that he'd returned. "Please don't do this, you don't have to do this--please."

He couldn't look into her eyes. He couldn't acknowledge her, or he might turn back. The words had already come out, he'd already said what he was going to do. Arthur was shooting him daggers with his eyes, shouting that he wouldn't be welcomed back. Percy grabbed his trunk and stepped out of the door without saying goodbye, afraid that seeing his mother's tears would be enough to kill him and that listening to his father's words would be enough to make him apologize and beg to stay. His heart was pounding angrily, almost as if it was protesting this decision of his. There was a sound like a window opening and something hit him hard on the back of the head as he was about to Apparate, so he looked down at the ground to see a dungbomb. Glancing up, he saw Ginny peering down at him from her room, sending him the coldest look she could muster.

That was the last he saw of the Burrow.

Percy was reading the most recent edition of the Daily Prophet. His shift had ended only an hour ago, and he'd returned straight home from work to eat a dinner that had comprised of stale bread and onion soup (onions, due to their inexpensive nature, had become a staple of his diet) and to lie on the sofa in his cramped London flat. He'd already read most of the paper and was skimming over it in search of the articles which he had not been compelled to read. He scoffed as he came across one about Celestina Warbeck's latest love scandal; though such matters hardly interested him, he decided to read it. Just as he got past the first sentence, there was a knock on the door.

He was instantly suspicious. He never got visitors, with the exception of the occasional Muggle salesperson going door-to-door. With a sigh, he rolled off the sofa and walked the very short distance to the door, opening it slowly to reveal his mother. "Percy!" she cried, a forced smile on her face. "Hello, dear, I've brought you some dinner. Roast chicken with potatoes and carrots, your absolute favorite." She was holding up a bowl that had been covered with a towel. Molly looked her son up and down, noticing how thin he'd gotten.

"Sorry, I've already eaten," Percy muttered, not allowing his eyes to meet hers. A lump had risen in his throat and he felt guilt gnawing away at his stomach.

"Perhaps you can save it for later, or--"

"I think it'd be best if you left now." He said this to the mysterious brown stain on the carpet of the doorway rather than to his mother.

"Please let me in, dear. I just wanted to talk to you about--"

Percy never found out what it was that she wanted to talk to him about because he slammed the door quickly. He heard her whimper a bit before a muffled pop let him know that she'd Apparated away. Leaning his back against the door shakily, Percy licked his lips. Wet, salty tears had run down his face and he slid to the floor, collapsing into a sobbing, sniffling heap.

On Christmas Day, Percy received a lumpy package. It had been delivered by Errol, and he knew at once that it was a jumper from his mother. He shouldn't have opened it, but he couldn't help himself. He unwrapped it, holding it close to himself and allowing a few tears to flow into its fabric, which smelled of food and warmth and love.

Then he sent it back.

When Fudge lost his job, Percy did not lose his. He was Junior Assistant to Scrimgeour and, despite the fact that You-Know-Who's return had now been confirmed, he had yet to make amends with his family. Part of him hoped that, through accompanying the Minister on this particular trip, he would be able to apologize to his mum, though he knew his siblings would not forgive him.

"We'll just pop in, I'll snag Potter and talk to him about the plan, and you'll stay inside with your family, all right, Percy?" Scrimgeour said as the two of them walked in the snow toward the Burrow. It had changed very little since Percy had last seen it, and he wondered what sort of Christmas dinner his mother had prepared.

"All right, sir," he said curtly. He opened the door and walked into the kitchen. The expressions his parents wore were ones of complete shock, while his siblings glowered at him. Nobody spoke for a few moments. "Merry Christmas, Mother," Percy said stiffly.

"Oh, Percy!" Molly shouted, throwing herself into his arms. Along with the Weasleys, Percy noticed Remus Lupin, Harry Potter, and...was that Fleur Delacour?

"You must forgive this intrusion," Scrimgeour said as Mrs. Weasley turned to look at him. Her face was lit up with joy and her eyes glistened with tears. "Percy and I were in the vicinity -- working, you know -- and he couldn't resist dropping in and seeing you all."

Percy's ears went red at when the Minister used his name as an excuse. In all honesty, Scrimgeour had approached Percy's cubicle and said, "Your family knows Potter, right?" Admittedly, the truth would have made his intentions a bit too clear.

"Please come in, sit down, Minister!" Molly said. Her hands went up to her head to straighten a sparkling blue hat. Percy's eyes were drawn to the golden necklace she was wearing and he wondered if Fred and George's successful joke shop in Diagon Alley had benefited the rest of the family, as well. "Have a little purkey, or some tooding...I mean--"

"No, no, my dear Molly," said Scrimgeour. "I don't want to intrude, wouldn't be here at all if Percy hadn't wanted to see you all so badly..."

There he went again, using Percy's name. "Oh, Perce!" Mrs. Weasley cried out, kissing her son.

"...we've only looked in for five minutes, so I'll have a stroll around while you catch up with Percy. No, no, I assure you I don't want to butt in! Well, if anybody cared to show me your charming garden...Ah, that young man's finished, why doesn't he take a stroll with me?" The Minister pointed at Harry Potter and Percy couldn't help but notice how painfully obvious it was that his whole purpose in coming had been to meet with 'The Chosen One'.

"Yeah, all right," agreed Harry.

"Wonderful!" said the Minister. "We'll just take a turn around the garden, and Percy and I'll be off. Carry on, everyone!" The two walked out the door.

"What's brought you back?" demanded Fred.

"Now, Fred--" Molly began, but as she spoke, something warm and wet hit Percy in the face. It was splattered all over his glasses. "Who did that?" Molly shrieked.

Three voices said simultaneously that they were responsible and both Ginny and the twins had smug looks on their faces. "It's all right," Percy mumbled. He could see that he was not wanted here; maybe things had been better while he was gone. "I'll just wait for Scrimgeour outside."

"No, no, no, you don't have to--"

"Mum," he said. It was the first time in over a year that he'd said that word. "I really ought to be going, I can tell that..." He didn't finish his sentence, but instead walked out of the house, turning his back on his family for the second time. It seemed that leaving was easier than going back, that asking for forgiveness was more difficult than declaring his disloyalty.

Why was it so hard to return? A clump of whatever had been chucked at him dripped down onto his top lip. He tasted it and recognized it as mashed parsnip, but there was a nasty aftertaste of remorse.

There was something else, too. Percy cleaned the parsnip off his face and wiped his eyes, which were leaking with salt.

Read my lips:

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:00:20 GMT

So I'm going to make all of my personal journal entries friends only. I also plan on clearing out my flist a bit because I know that I only friended some of you guys for fanfiction reasons and I really don't think you're reading my journal anymore due to my lack of updates. If, for some reason, you ARE reading my journal, then feel free to comment here and I'll keep you. All fanfiction that I've written in the past and that I'll be writing in the future will remain public. If you want to friend me, go ahead, but please comment here so that I know that you have and so that I can friend you back. :)

(banner by xiggy89x)

Why so Keira-centric?

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:57:06 GMT

So my recently-madeover journal has a theme. In case you're blind or just incredibly stupid, I'll go ahead and say it outright: Keira Knightley! Why Keira? Why now? Well, recently I've been appreciating her a lot more. She is quite beautiful and I think she's a lovely actress (this is not to say she's the best in the world, but she's certainly got some talent). So, since I love her, I've got Keira icons and a Keira mood theme and a Keira header (all of which are credited properly on my userpic page and my profile). I also plan on using this journal more often for both fanfiction and personal entries. So...that's pretty much it for now.

Writer's Block: Sweet Tooth

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:23:50 GMT

What is your favorite holiday-specific candy or treat?

View 505 Answers

I know that this might be different in other households, but we always have the most amazing desserts for Christmas dinner. Chocolate cheesecake (om nom nommmm), sugar cookies, German chocolate cake...omg it's amazing. <3333

Because some people might be wondering what happened.

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 18:09:21 GMT

I know that most people on my flist friended me for my Twilight fanfiction (especially My Singer since it's my only multi-chaptered one) but I have to tell you that My Singer is discontinued and that I don't plan on writing it anymore. Sorry. I ran out of inspiration and I don't like Twilight the way that I used to. However, I will continue to write drabbles and oneshots and I am actually planning to write some more HP fanfic too, if that's any consolation. Sorry for being a lazy whore.

Also, here's something else that's interesting: I plan on using this journal more often for reasons other than fanfic. For instance, I might feel the need to rant or talk about my ~feelings. haha. So, those are the main changes that I'm making. Once again, sorry. Feel free to de-friend me.

Writer's Block: A Little Green

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:36:25 GMT

Top o' the morning to you! Has anyone ever pinched you for not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day?

View 500 Answers

Yes, I have. I think it's really stupid since I'm not Irish and don't feel like it's necessary to celebrate it. I'm just not a festive person, I guess...but pinching people because they're not wearing green is a little childish, if you ask me.

A Dull Aching in the Throat

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:36:46 GMT

I gotta type this before I get distracted.

----

She could not deny her attraction to him, nor could she acknowledge it. Instead, it remained within her, in limbo between denial and acknowledgment, afraid to slip from her lips. It manifested itself sometimes, bubbling to the surface of her exterior; it was the gaze she held for a moment too long, the smile that seemed too forced.

And he felt it. It surprised him at first. After all, they were both in their own content relationships...why would she be attracted to him? He realized that it was more than the usual attraction humans felt toward him; no, this was a heavy, stifling attraction that he felt all around him. It was so glaringly obvious that he wondered why the others did not sense it. He buried it in his thoughts, afraid to give it away. But of course, he never did.

"Bella?" he called, eying the human as she sat in the Cullens' living room. Her head snapped up and she blushed faintly, creating a subtle contrast of red and white. She knew that he sensed it there, lingering between them.

"Yes?" she answered, leaning back in the armchair in an attempt to look calm. In reality, her heart was racing, and it took every ounce of his self control to ignore that glorious sound.

"Edward's home," he muttered as he heard his brother's car pull up. It was a warning, a way of reminding her of their respective mates.

"Of course," she said, jumping out of her chair suddenly. Her scent came hurtling at him, causing him to stiffen in his seat. As his throat burned, he wondered how something so sweet could cause such an agonizing, throbbing ache.

---

It took a while for him to realize that the attraction was mutual, though he decided that 'attraction' was much too feeble a word to describe what they both felt. 'Attraction' could not accurately label the dance of hidden meanings and prolonged glances that had become their relationship. It could not begin to fit the intensity that they shared. And yet, this word was the only one appropriate for their situation; anything stronger would be an exaggeration.

And he wasn't sure if he was attracted to her or her scent. Somewhere within his mind, bloodlust and physical lust managed to intertwine, and he didn't know which part was more prevalent. When he saw her blush, so tantalizing and beautiful all at once, he couldn't decide whether it was her body that tempted him or her blood.

"Jasper," she'd say sometimes, "could you reach that book on the top shelf?" or "Jasper, you wouldn't happen to know where Alice is right now, would you?" Normal, innocent phrases that would not be suspicious to replay as memories. But he didn't need telepathy to see the hunger in her eyes, and the expression on her face reminded him eerily of a thirsty newborn's.

---

She dreamt about him sometimes, and she unsure if she ever spoke his name in her sleep. Even though she slept in Edward's arms, she didn't see his lips in her dreams, and she certainly did not imagine him touching her...

But he never spoke a word about it, and this left her to wonder whether her subconscious knew better or if he just didn't want to address it.
---

This was wrong. No respectable woman imagined another man when she kissed her husband on the day of her wedding. And when her eyes met his across the room, her face flushing with embarrassment, there was a mutual feeling aside from their attraction, one which can only be described as a dull aching in the throat that was caused by neither thirst nor tears of joy.

My Singer, Chapter 13

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:32:14 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 13
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: I totally own this. I'm broke and own nothing, please don't sue me.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12
Note: In case you're wondering, yes, I do intend on ignoring Breaking Dawn because no, I didn't like it. ALSO this chapter has a deleted scene of sorts...if you want it, message me...but be sure to ask what it is first. Seriously, you may regret it otherwise. But I worked pretty hard on that particular scene, and I would like a bit of feedback so I know if it's suitable for me to do something similar in the future. Also, if I say that I'd rather not show it to you, it's NOT because I don't like you or anything. It just means that I really don't want to share it with you. Got it? Good. Um...that's it, because this note is too long. Please do leave a comment, it might motivate me to update quickly.

Bella Swan

The images keep flashing in my head like a horror movie...me, standing over his body...me, biting into his flesh...me, lapping up his blood eagerly like the monster that I am. And then Carlisle comes into my mind, shaking his head in shame. Next come Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Esme, all backing away from me in disgust...and finally Edward, his glorious face grimacing as he realizes what I truly am.

A fraud. I don't belong with the Cullens. I don't deserve them.

"Bella, are you coming?" Victoria asks impatiently, a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

"I need a minute," I reply. She nods before taking off with James and Laurent. Now I have a decision to make:

I can stay with them and eventually be turned over to the Volturi, or I can try to find the family I left behind, the family that probably won't take me back. Neither choice looks enjoyable, but maybe...maybe Edward will forgive me. This is the only hope I have; maybe he will forgive me, and that will make it all worth it. I don't allow myself to mull over the alternative and walk over to the tent, rifling through a knapsack that the campers left behind. I pull out a compass, and, even better, a map.

Edward's not going to save me this time, I realize.

"You actually have to know where you are to use those," a voice says. I spin around to see Laurent.

"Well, where are we, then?" I demand. He's behind me in an instant, pointing out locations on the map.

--

He'd told me not to turn around, no matter what. Don't take longer than necessary. Move as quickly as possible, he'd warned me. So now I've become paranoid; everywhere I go, I hear the snapping of a twig and begin to panic, just to find that no one's there. It's maddening. Another dawn approaches as I grow nearer to Denali, staying only in the wildest forests in order to prevent another incident. The guilt of what I've done rises in my throat like bile, distracting me from my thirst. I picture the man and woman together, laughing and smiling...getting married...having children. I'd ruined all that.

The Cullen mansion appears in the distance on the edge of the forest.

Edward Cullen

The door swings open to reveal Bella who, after only a couple of days, has become wild-looking. Mud is caked in her hair and on her skin, twigs clinging to it; her clothing is ripped, and her eyes are wide and a bit redder than usual. Despite all of this, my heart sings just to see her there and alive. "Bella," I whisper.

She glances over to the chair I'm sitting in, eyeing the book in my lap. Without a doubt, she's wondering why I'm reading her new copy of Wuthering Heights.

"Bella!" Emmett exclaims, rushing over to her from the staircase. "I thought I smelled you!" He pulls her into a hug and an expression of shock lingers on her face, which slowly creeps into the smallest of smiles.

"Hi, Emmett," she says. My eyes meet hers and the smile disappears. What is she thinking? I wonder, beginning to panic. "Where is everyone?" she asks.

Emmett releases Bella and explains, "Carlisle worked the graveyard shift, so he'll be back pretty soon. Jasper's upstairs, and Esme went to Tanya's house with Alice and Rose. As soon as I call to tell them you're back, they'll get over her to--"

"Don't call them," she says quietly. Jasper walks into the room and nods to her. "Hello, Jasper."

"Why not? They'll be be thrilled to know that you're back," Emmett says, a confused look on his face. She only shakes her head before going upstairs, not acknowledging me once. She must not forgive me yet. She must be up there, hating me more than anything...I stand up to leave, to follow her up to her room. When I get there, the door is shut. I consider walking away, but instead I reach out to turn the knob--

"Just come in, Edward," she snaps as I race inside, taking a seat beside her on the bed. After an awkward silence, she says, "You'll hate me."

"What? Bella, you know I could never--"

"Just listen to what I've done, then. I--I killed a human," she confesses, burying her face in her hands. "I'm a monster," she sobs. I wrap my arms around her, but she pulls away from me. "I met three vampires; their names were Victoria, James, and Laurent. They said they were going hunting...I was being stupid, I thought they meant hunting for animals, but...it was humans they were after...it was so obvious...and I...killed one..." She continues to sob dryly.

"Bella, if you're a monster, then God only knows what I am. Do you forget that there was a time in my life when I preyed only on humans? Do you forget that Emmett and Jasper and Alice and even Esme have all had human blood? You've only killed one human, and you think you're a monster?"

"I'm evil," she spits.

"You resisted Charlie's blood for hours! You are far from evil." I lift up her face, cradling it between my hands. "Even if you were a monster, I wouldn't care. I love you."

"How? How can you love something like me?" she inquires.

"I could ask you the same question." She wraps her arms around my waist, sobbing into my chest.

"I'm a murderer...they'll all hate me..."

"They could never hate you. The only one that could hate you without being a hypocrite is Carlisle, and you know that he'd never hate anyone. They love you, Bella." She clings tighter to me, her strength hurting me a bit. I freeze, sniffing the air. "Someone's here."

"Who?"

"I don't recognize the--"

"Laurent," she hisses, inhaling.

I slide out of her arms. "Stay here," I warn her, running down to the front door and slipping into the cool air. "Laurent?"

He nods his head at me, thinking, I wonder if he is their leader? "Yes, that is my name. Bella is part of your coven?" He has a slight French accent.

"Did you track her?" I demand.

"No, no, I merely followed because I was curious. And...I had a warning to give her coven," he answers timidly, his thoughts giving me no reason to distrust him.

And yet, my eyes narrow to form slits as I look into his burgundy irises. "A warning?"

"A very dangerous vampire and his mate are looking for Bella," he informs me.

"Oh?"

"They hope to turn her over to the Volturi in exchange for--"

I cut him off mid-sentence with a snarl, not needing to hear him speak the words out loud. Just then, Carlisle's Mercedes pulls into the driveway. He is bewildered as he steps out of the car, his eyes darting from Laurent to me and back. Edward, what's going on? As he looks at me, I understand how this scene must appear to an outsider; I'm crouched down, preparing to attack Laurent, who is standing in a defensive position.

I straighten out of the crouch and clear my throat. "Carlisle, this is Laurent. And Bella's back."

"Yes, I thought I smelled her," Carlisle responds, smiling briefly. "What may I do for you, Laurent?"

"Bella ran into him and another two vampires who were running from the Volturi. They planned to hand her over to the Volturi for their lives," I answer before Laurent opens his mouth. He raises an eyebrow.

"I do not recall telling you that," he says. I glare at him. Right now, I couldn't care less about who knows my talent. "They're both very dangerous. Especially James. He's an extraordinary tracker," Laurent continues.

"James, did you say?" Carlisle muses. "Edward, could you call Tanya?"

--

"I know the vampire you speak of," Tanya drawls. Then, silently, she adds, I changed him. Her coven, along with Esme, Alice, and Rosalie, all came over as soon as I called.

"You what?" I growl, rising from my seat next to Bella. She reaches up and pulls me by the sleeve so that I'm sitting on the sofa again.

"Don't you remember, Edward? The man I found in the street?" Tanya asks. Bella gasps. "And, yes, I suppose you'll know him, too, Bella."

"His name was James," I utter.

"Yes, precisely."

"You failed to mention that in your letter," I grumble. She ignores me.

"What, exactly, are you two talking about?" Emmett demands, banging his fist on his knee with a resounding bang.

"Back when Edward and I were close, I saved a human I found in an alley. I felt sorry for him; he was covered in blood, like he'd been stabbed several times, but he was still alive. Irina nearly drank his blood, but I stopped her, reminding her of our dear friend, Carlisle. Would he kill this man? So, I tried to do what he would do--I saved James. It was difficult having a newborn around, but eventually he matured. I began to see that he possessed a most remarkable power--he was one of the greatest trackers I'd ever known. I'd say he is second only to Demetri."

"Tanya, could you move on with the story?" Jasper says.

"I'm getting there. Anyway, James and I--well, we got along. But anyone who has spent time with me knows that I can't just get along with one man. He seemed to think that my feelings for him were stronger than they actually were--"

"Imagine someone thinking that," I mumble.

"--and," she continues, sending me a look and several angry thoughts, "he got upset and took off, and I never saw him again. The point is, James is dangerous. I've seen what he can do firsthand, and so has Laurent," Tanya says, gesturing to our 'guest', though he appears to be far too interested in Irina to notice.

"Ah, yes. But we've got enough people to take him down without a problem," Emmett says, grinning.

"I refuse to fight," Tanya replies. "I created him, I can't destroy him."

"If Tanya refuses to fight, then so will I," Kate says.

"Me too. I knew James as well...I could not bear to kill him," Irina states.

"I believe that Carmen and I will stay out of this, too," Eleazar says.

"Well, fine, we've still got eight. And one of us is a newborn with crazy strength," Emmett says, winking at Bella.

"Bella can't fight, she knows nothing about combat," I snap, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Excuse me?" Bella demands, glaring at me.

"We've got plenty of fighters. I don't want you to get hurt," I explain, reaching out for her hand. She snatches it away.

"I am fighting James," she states, gritting her teeth. "I'm the reason he's coming here, Edward."

"Bella, please don't complicate things," I beg.

"Complicate things?" she echoes, getting to her feet. "Don't follow me." She sprints up the stairs to he room. Emmett snickers.

"So, I guess you'll still be a virgin tomorrow, Eddie?" he teases.

"Shut up, Emmett!" Bella hollers from her room.

"If you want your body to function properly, you'll shut the hell up," I threaten, walking out of the room. A pillow hits my head as my brother--and I use that term loosely--continues to aggravate me in his thoughts. As I head to the staircase, he thinks, Um, she said not to follow her.

Oh. Right. Well, maybe she'll change her mind. As I'm about to knock on the door, she says, "Don't come in unless you can accept that I am perfectly capable of defending myself."

"Bella, you ran away and found one of the most dangerous vampires you could find--"

"I got back alive, didn't I? I'm not a child and I'm not an idiot, Edward. Don't treat me like one." The door swings open. There she is, arms crossed over her breasts, twigs protruding from her muddy hair, looking ridiculous and beautiful and furious all at once...I reach out to press my hands against the small of her back, pulling her to me.

"You're right," I admit, burying my face in her hair, inhaling the lovely way her scent mingles with a thousand other natural ones. "You are my equal."

"For the next ten months, I am your superior," she corrects me, wrapping her arms around my body and squeezing me with all of her strength. "And don't you forget it."

"Never," I whisper. She pulls me into her room, kissing me deeply. I kiss her back without hesitation or restraint, forgetting where my own mouth ends and hers begins. Our breathing quickens and her hands travel to my belt buckle. Groaning, I pull away.

"Well, why not?" she asks, flustered.

"Not now."

"Why not now?"

"Someday, yes, right now, no," I say, sitting on her bed. "I can't deal with worrying about you, accepting your superiority, and making love to you all at once. It's too much." She pouts and plops down beside me, leaning against my body.

"Not now?" she repeats slowly.

"No," I answer firmly. She tilts her head up to peck me on the lips.

"Oh, all right, then."

Hours later, she rests in my arms, her eyes closed as if to simulate sleep. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my womanly charms," she mutters too quietly for anyone outside of the room to hear.

"Yes, well, the whole house heard us, if that matters to you at all," I whisper, still feeling giddy. She sits up, her eyes bulged out.

"I completely forgot about them!" she cries.

"I don't blame you. I didn't especially want to think of Emmett just now, either. Ew." She just groans, lying down again. "No, trust me, it's not a big deal. Do you know what I had to put up with when Rosalie and Emmett were younger? Or when Alice and Jasper moved in? Or..." I trail off, sparing her the idea of Carlisle and Esme's very awkward first encounters. I love her too much to put her through that. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that our family--" I smile when she says 'our'--"knows way more than I wanted them to. And Tanya's coven! And Laurent. God, it's impossible to keep anything private in this house."

"Are you embarrassed?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"After all, we didn't do much damage. You made it sound like we would trash the room. I mean, I think a cracked headboard and a few dents in the wall is pretty decent," she says. I chuckle as she wraps her body around my own.

"Don't forget my clothes," I mutter. In her excitement, Bella had shredded my shirt and underwear. Luckily, the top half of my trousers managed to remain intact. "How am I supposed to leave?"

"You're not. It was all part of a plan," she jokes, using her finger to trace circles on my bare stomach.

"We've still got James to worry about," I remind her. "Once he's dead, we can stay like this forever."

"Good." She's silent for a moment.

"Are you still embarrassed?"

"Not of what we did. I'm embarrassed that they know...well, everything."

"Don't be. They'rve all got enough tact not to mention it--except for Emmett, of course. But trust me, a snide remark from him is much better than having to hear their thoughts." She groans. "There's no need to worry about them."

My Singer update...

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:29:33 GMT

Um um um...I told some SCKATHERS I'd update by Wednesday. I may or may not. But definitely this week. Okay? Okay.

A Jaspella fic: Coming soon to LiveJournals near you!

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:55:37 GMT

So I had an idea for a Jasper/Bella fic. And I'm definitely writing it as soon as I finish My Singer (which should happen in a few weeks seeing as there are only three or four chapters left). Gah. This is too exciting. I love Jasper/Bella, it's my favorite AU pairing. I mean, I love Bella/Edward as much as the next person (they are meant to be, of course), but I cannot resist Jaspella. It's just so...I don't know. There's something about the two of them that I like messing around with. So yeah.

My Singer, Chapter 12

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:56:24 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 12
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: I totally own this. I'm just a broke teenager who owns nothing, please don't sue me.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11
Note: Just when you thought there couldn't be any more drama...

Edward Cullen

"Where could she possibly be?" I want to know. Alice glares at me.

"She only left because of you," she mutters. "And I can't see a thing about her future."

"Of course you can't," I snap.

"It's my fault," Tanya states. "I was upset when I gave her the letters, I should've known better, I should've had more self control. That was stupid of me. I'm sorry."

"There's no use assigning blame," Esme says.

"Yeah. Besides, who's to say she's not actually on a walk?" Emmett asks.

"Oh, yes, because four hour walks are perfectly normal," I grumble.

"Sit down, Edward," Esme tells me, pulling out a chair at the dining room table for me before taking her own seat.

"I can't. I can't take this anymore, I have to go after her," I declare, turning to leave the room.

"Maybe you shouldn't go after her. This is the second time she's run away, maybe it means that she doesn't want to be here," Rosalie suggests. "Now sit down and think about this; she could be furious with you. She's young, she doesn't know much about love. She got carried away, and your feelings are probably much stronger than--"

"No. I will not believe that until the day she outright rejects me," I interrupt, sitting down. "Carlisle, I--"

"Go after her if you feel that it's the right decision. But maybe you should let her make her own choice," Carlisle says.

"She'll be back, Edward," says Irina.

"How do you know?" I demand.

"Because it's true," she replies cryptically. "Don't look for her. I have a strong feeling that maybe she'd be better off alone for a while."

"If I'm not mistaken, Alice is the only one at this table who can see the future," I say. Irina smiles.

"I never said she wasn't. But I'm right. You'll see. If Bella truly loves you, which she does, then she'll come back," she says.

"Don't go after her, Edward," Jasper says.

"You don't understand. I can't just leave her out there. What if she goes back to Forks? What if she kills somebody?" I ask.

"We do understand," Esme says. "Don't forget about the time you left. We worried about you, but you returned. So will Bella."

I imagine that she is trying to comfort me by telling me this, but it only makes me cringe to remember that time in my life. Will Bella turn out the way I did?

"Edward," Carlisle says, "what would you have done if we'd gone after you?" I consider this for a moment.

"I would've been upset. And I probably wouldn't go back home with you," I answer begrudgingly. I take a deep breath and pink the bridge of my nose. "Fine. But if she's not back in a week, I'm tracking her." Alice snorts.

"No offense, but we've all seen your tracking abilities, and I highly doubt they'll help anyone," she mutters. I glare in her direction before going upstairs.

Bella Swan

Okay, so I lied.

I knew I wasn't going on a walk, but I could hardly tell Edward that. It's funny how quickly I've come to regret this decision. As a result of my pathetic lack of directional skills, I've landed myself in the middle of an Alaskan forest. Actually, to be quite honest, I may be in Canada. Not to mention the rapidly growing intensity of my thirst.

On a slightly more positive note, my endurance is incredible. I've been running for hours, and don't stop until dawn. As the sun rises, I hear the distant trickling of a stream; somehow, it seems right to go there. As I begin running again, it occurs to me that I may be so drawn to it because it makes me think of the day Edward and I kissed for the first time. I arrive at the tiny stream just as the sun rises, my skin sparkling in its light.

I realize that a part of me expects to be rescued. It's absurd, really, but I can't stop thinking about it. Sitting at the edge of the water, I try to come up with a plan to get back to Denali, but I know deep down that I'm hopelessly lost. And, even worse, I've let Tanya win, because that had been her goal, hadn't it? She's still the queen, and I'm only Snow White...lost, pathetic, helpless Snow White.

Edward Cullen

Anger cannot describe the emotion that I feel.

Of course, I am angry. I was angry at Tanya for a certain amount of time, but it's not really her fault, is it? I hadn't told Bella everything. She'd offered me every part of herself, even surrendering her secrets. But I'd only met her halfway, too ashamed of myself and my past. Now I realize how senseless it had been. So, at this point, my anger is no longer directed at Tanya so much as myself.

The rest of what I'm feeling is hard to admit. I'm hurt, but I'm also frustrated that I was so close to what I've been looking for, and now it--or she, rather--is gone. Bella, the only happiness in my life, is gone. And worse, she left because of me. I've doomed myself.

Then I realize how selfish I'm being. I'm the one who gave her this life. I should be the one protecting her. I owe her that much, at least, but I've only hurt her. I rest my head on her pillow, closing my eyes and wondering if there's something wrong with me. It seems utterly sadistic to fall in love with someone after killing them.

She must hate me. She must be thinking that right now. I sit up in her bed as I hear someone walking to the door of the bedroom. "Hey, Edward. Um, we're going hunting, so..." Emmett trails off.

"I'm not thirsty," I lie. I can hear his dubious thoughts as he walks away.

Bella Swan

I tried to find my way out of the forest, but I only found myself going in circles; now, at last, I am at the stream again. Without even thinking about it, I lie down in the mud, praying for something to get me out of here. I am torn between going back to Edward getting as far away from him as possible. I miss him terribly, and yet some part of me cannot bear to admit him, because that part of me resents him. I spend the entire day wriggling around in the stream's bank.

As night falls, the quietest whoosh meets my ears, the slightest shift of air in the distance. My first thought is of a bird, but I realize that no bird sounds this way. It's something unnatural. There's another whoosh and I sit up, scanning the trees for the source of the sound. In the distance, there's a flash of fiery red; hair, perhaps?

"Stay back!" I call out. "I'm dangerous!"

"Are you?" a voice asks, and I jump at how nearby it sounds. The speaker must be close...

"Really, please, you should--" I begin.

"We do not fear you, newborn," the voice purrs. A woman with brilliant red hair steps out from the trees.

"We?" I echo. Two men emerge behind her.

"A vampire? Such a pity, too," one says, "because we were so desperate for blood."

"But I...I'm just--I don't have--" I splutter. The woman smiles and it sends chills down my spine.

"We know. What is your name?"

"Bella," I mutter, looking down at the mud.

"My name is Victoria. Those two are James and Laurent. How old are you?" she asks. I notice that her stance is defensive, like a cat about to attack.

"Not even two months yet," I reply.

"We're hunting," Victoria tells me. "Surely you're thirsty?"

"I'm always thirsty," I say. Our eyes meet and I see that hers are coal black.

"What abilities do you have, newborn?" James demands. As he speaks, I recall that Edward had once warned me about vampires. Don't trust a vampire, especially after you've just met him, he'd said.

"It's nothing spectacular," I inform him, shrugging.

"Still, it will make for interesting conversation," Victoria says.

"Well..." I begin. What could they possibly do after knowing my gift? "Other vampires can't use their powers on me unless I let them."

"Hm. As you said, it's not exactly spectacular. But I find it quite interesting," James says, exchanging a glance with Victoria.

--

We split into two groups to hunt; I'm with Laurent while James and Victoria are together. For the most part, the two of us walk in silence, occasionally making a comment about the trees or the animals around us. After a while, I ask, "Where are you guys going?"

"They're actually on the run. James and Victoria managed to anger the Volturi," he explains.

"What did they do?" I ask, remembering the stories I'd been told about the Volturi.

"Apparently, they'd been hunting people in Eastern Europe, which normally wouldn't bother the Volturi. But they killed several people at a time, causing a lot of media attention. The two of them somehow escaped being killed immediately and came to North America, but I doubt that the Volturi have given up."

"So why are you with them?" I wonder.

"James is quite intimidating. An alliance with him can only help me. Now, where do you come from?" he wants to know.

"Denali. I left my coven because...well, that's not important," I say. He nods.

"Bella," he says quietly, "I think I should tell you why they're allowing you to come with us. Even though your gift isn't spectacular, it is interesting. They think that they may be able to hand you over to the Volturi in exchange for their lives. I strongly advise that you go back to your coven in Denali."

"But I--I don't know how to get back," I respond, my head swimming with this new information. James and Victoria are only using me; they don't want me any more than the Cullens did.

"Then maybe you should find out," Laurent says. A sweet smell hits me suddenly. Laurent sees me sniffing at the air and chuckles.

"We're getting close."

"What is that?" I ask, having never smelled such sweet blood. My throat burns with thirst.

"What do you mean? It's prey."

"I know, but...what animal is that?"

He looks confused. "Human, of course."

I stop walking. "Human? You hunt humans?"

"What else are we supposed to hunt?"

"Animals!" I cry.

"Is that what your old coven did?" Laurent inquires."

"Yes! Of course."

"Well, feel free to go find a rabbit. And then you can go back to Denali," he says. When I don't move, he adds, "Unless you change your mind."

My mind is, in fact, unchanged. And yet my feet don't move. I'm chained to the spot by the smell...I can almost taste the blood on the air. And I'm so thirsy... "Come on," Laurent says.

I inhale another gulp of air and step forward. "Let's go," I say.

As we grow nearer to the humans, my thirst grows stronger, clouding my judgement. Eventually, we reach a clearing with a tent in its center. I flinch as Laurent speaks to me:

"The others probably have their own campers. I hear two heartbeats, so that's one for each of us. Try to be quiet." I nod, watching as he walks into the clearing with catlike grace. He moves so quickly that all I see is him unzipping the tent and suddenly carrying out the unconscious body of a woman. She opens her eyes and barely has time to register what's happening as he bites into her neck. Her blood hits the air and I hear the crunch of teeth going through bones. Laurent laps up her fluids eagerly.

I walk into the clearing and creep into the unzipped tent where a man lies in a sleeping bag. He's still asleep, blissfully unaware of what's going on. My instincts take over my body and I find myself leaning down so that my lips are only half an inch away from his neck. His pulse pounds in my head, the desire within my making me dizzy. My teeth break the skin and I no longer know what's going on; the only thing that matters is his blood, flowing into my mouth. It's like nothing I've ever tasted before...sweet and salty and everything else, cooling my throat like water extinguishes a flame. The monster is beside herself with glee.

This pleasure is like no other. Once I drain the man completely of his blood, I leave the tent to see Laurent, Victoria, and James all waiting for me. "So, newborn. How was your first human?" Victoria asks. Her question snaps me back to reality.

"Oh, god!" I whisper. "I...I killed him! I killed a man!" And then my world seems to be crashing down around me. Chapter 13

Fanfiction Masterlist

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:43:58 GMT

This masterlist is closed for maintenance :P No, but really, it's ridiculous to try to work with the html issues I was having so I'm going to re-do it...eventually. Now, you can always click on the "fanfiction" tag if you'd like to read my stuff :)

My Singer, Chapter 11

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:28:58 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 11
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: Edward came over to play dress-up with me. :] But I promise to give him back.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10
Note: Drama ensues. Uhm. And this chapter is being posted because my fellow SCKATHERS motivated me. Haha. This chapter's kinda short...

Bella Swan

"A quick warning," Edward whispers, entwining his fingers with mine, "Tanya can be jealous. And she may already know about us." He looks up at me from under his lashes.

"What...she...what?" I stammer, trying to focus on something other than his topaz eyes. He frees his fingers and holds my face between his hands, kissing me gently.

"Bella. Please listen to me."

"I would if you stopped doing that!" I grumble. He raises an eyebrow.

"Doing what, exactly?" he wonders, puzzled. I look away from his eyes as I search for the word.

"Dazzling me," I say. He chuckles and lets go of my face, putting his arm around my waist.

"Well, Tanya's coven is coming over and...I just want you to be prepared. She's not a bad woman, but..."

"But what?"

"The word 'losing' is not in her dictionary," he says simply, pulling me downstairs. Since my confession last week, Edward and I have been inseparable. I haven't told him that it's because I'm afraid to let him out of my sight; part of me is sure this is a dream, and I want to spend every moment of it with my angel.

I collapse onto the sofa, stretching out so that my toes graze the arm rest. Edward, who is still standing, looks down at me. "Honestly, you newborns have no manners," he scolds mockingly. In response, I stick out my tongue before lifting my upper body. He sits and I rest my head in his lap.

"You're not a very good pillow," I complain.

"I'll move, then."

"No!" He smiles just as the door flings open.

"Hello!" Carmen's voice rings out.

"What, do people not knock in Alaska?" I call out.

"They do, but vampires don't," she retorts, entering the room to find Edward and I. "Oh! Hm. Well, this is new," she splutters, gesturing at us.

Irina glides in behind her, grinning widely. "Good afternoon to my favorite monsters, the fabulous Cull--" she breaks off when she sees us. "Damn."

"Such foul language," booms a male voice. Eleazar moves to stand beside his wife. "Hello, Edward. Hello, Bella. Still immune to mind control?"

"Yep," I reply. "Where are Kate and Tanya?"

"They got in a silly argument about--well, it doesn't matter. But they're still in the car, fighting like children," he says.

"So make them stop," I say simply. Irina shakes her head, her long, white braid bouncing. "If only it were that easy," she says, looking down. Edward scowls just as Kate storms in, her brown hair flying around her. There's a bump as the sofa sinks on one side so that my head slides toward the arm rest.

"Katrina! You're breaking Esme's furniture!" barks Irina, grabbing her sister's elbow.

"Sorry," Kate apologizes. "It's just one leg. I can fix it later."

"Now, calm down," Carmen instructs, placing a hand on Kate's shoulder. Tanya barges into the room and glares in our direction.

"Go on, take Kate's side, just like everyone always does!" she shouts at Carmen.

"Will you two stop it? You would think that after a millenium of living together--" Irina begins. Jasper and Alice are now standing at the foot of the stairs. A vase on the table shatters.

"Kate," groans Carmen.

"Tanya, you just have to accept that--" Katrina begins.

"I don't have to do anything! You always--" Tanya stops yelling midsentence and sits in a chair, her eyes glossy.

Thank you, Jasper, I think. Kate walks slowly to another chair and sits, staring into space.

"What's all this about?" I ask Edward. He sighs, leaning down and kissing my forehead, causing Tanya to flinch despite her calm trance.

"You," he whispers as Esme appears at the bottom of the stairs.

"Tanya," she says, "why don't you come upstairs with me? You can lie down if you'd like to." She walks over and helps Tanya up, leading her upstairs. When the two are gone, Kate looks at me.

"I don't understand," I mutter, avoiding her intimidating gaze. Her eyes travel to meet Edwards and I know that she is conveying some secret to him, something neither of them wants me to know.

"Tanya always gets what she wants. And when she doesn't, she gets angry. I tried to convince her that it's none of her business, but it only resulted in a fight." As Kate speaks, the shards and gritty debris of Esme's vase swirl up from the floor, sparkling in the light like stardust until they form a cloud that floats into the kitchen. A gentle tinkling sound fills the air as they fall into the trash can. "Sorry about the couch. And the vase. My temper's just as bad as Tanya's."

Even when we lived with Tanya's coven, I never saw Kate use her power. Everyone told me how it was special, something they'd never quite seen before. They raved about how she could use her mind to move things around; "telekinesis" is what they always call it in science fiction novels. I cannot possibly imagine what sort of human abilities she must've had to gain this skill in her second life, and neither can she, due to her fuzzy memories about being human.

If the Denali coven could be fairytale characters, then I imagine that Irina would be Rapunzel, with her flowing white hair. Katrina is more like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, with her dark hair. Carmen and Eleazar remind me of Cinderella and her prince, or Sleeping Beauty and her prince; either way, they've got their happy ending. And Tanya is...well, I don't know who she is. When I try to think of her fictional counterpart, I can only imagine the queen from Snow White, bent on getting her way.

In the Grimm Brothers' version, the queen chokes to death on wine when she sees that the prince is marrying Snow White. Does that make me Snow White?

Is Tanya choking now?

"Bella?" Edward calls my name, a worried look on his face. "Bella?" I adjust myself so that I'm sitting beside him.

"Hm?"

"I asked if you needed to hunt." For a moment, I consider this.

"No," I reply, staring into space.

"Are you all right?" he asks.

"Yeah," I murmur. "I need to be alone.

--

I'm lying on my bed when the door flings open to reveal Tanya, who is holding a small wooden box. "What're you--?" I begin.

"I don't understand," she says.

"I don't understand why you and your coven have yet to master the art of knocking," I grumble, standing up.

"How can you be so foolish? Don't you see? He has resisted me, my sisters, Rosalie, and countless others, all of whom are more interesting than you!" she spits, her words stinging me.

"Is that why you're here? To insult me?" I demand.

She takes a deep breath. "Of course not. I came to warn you."

"You and everyone else."

"Edward has his faults, just like any else. At one point, he led me to believe that his feelings for me were stronger than they actually were. I fell in love with him, and I thought..." she trails off sadly. Her voice hardens and she says, "Anyway. I came to give you this." She flings the box at me and I snatch it from the air.

As soon as she's gone, Edward's in her place. "Bella," he says, "don't listen to her."

"So she's lying?" I ask.

Sighing, he replies, "We used to be friends. Close friends. But she got carried away. That box has some of the letters I wrote to her a few decades ago. At the time, she was severely depressed." He reaches into his pocket to pull out a stack of letters tied with a poece of string. "These are the letters she wrote back to me." He hands them to me before turning to leave.

As the bedroom door shuts, I lay down on my bed and open the letter box.

Tanya,
      When we visited you in Denali, you seemed upset. I don't want to press the matter, but we're all worried about you. Also, the way you kept reciting poetry every time I tried to hear your thoughts was very uncharacteristic. Are you all right?
       --Edward

I untie the stack of letters and unfold the first one to find that they'd been kept in the order they were written in.

Dear Edward,
       Don't worry about me. It was just that...seeing your family made me feel so lonely. Esme and Carlisle are so close, and so are Rosalie and Emmett. I've got my sisters, but I can't help but want the sort of relationship that Carmen and Eleazar have. I am so envious of them. Anyway, I'm better now. I realize that some things are not meant to be.
       --Tanya

Tanya,
        It does get lonely, doesn''t it? Rosalie and Emmett are getting married again. You'll probably get the invitation soon. Around here, the wedding is all anybody thinks about. Flowers, dresses, music...it's driving me mad. Poor Esme is planning it, but she's overwhelmed.
       --Edward

The letters start getting much longer, so this short one sticks out.

Edward,
        I'm afraid I won't be able to write for the next month; we're taking a trip to town. Carmen and Eleazar will stay behind, though, so if you send anything, they'll make sure I get it.
--Tanya

Tanya,
        I know you won't receive this letter for quite a while, but the strangest thing has happened. Emmett and I were out hunting and we came back to find that all of my things were in the garage. When we went inside, a tiny vampire came up and to me and she said, "Hi, Edward."

       "Do I know you?" I asked.

      "No," she said, laughing, "but you will."

       It turns out that her name was Alice and she stole my room. She and her mate, Jasper, came looking for us. You see, she has visions of the future. The only thing is, she doesn't remember much of her past. Ironic, isn't it?

         Anyway, one thing led to another and she's now planning the ever-important wedding. You'll meet her and Jasper there.
          --Edward

The next letter is from Tanya, describing how she'd saved a human from death. She found him in the street, bleeding from knife wounds. The letters go on and on until I can see that they'd become very good friends. Then I find the last two letters in the stack from Tanya, but I can't find a corresponding one from Edward.

Dear Edward,
         I feel that it's necessary to confess something to you. I love you. Yesterday, it struck me that we could become like Carlisle and Esme or Alice and Jasper. Neither of us would be lonely anymore; wouldn't that be marvelous?
        Love,
        Tanya

The next one is more bitter.

Fine. I suppose there's no need to write to you anymore, then.
        --Tanya

"Bella?" Tanya is in my doorway again, holding a crumpled piece of paper. "I forgot to give you this one." She places it on the bed before darting from the room.

Dear Tanya,
        I apologize if anything I've written has led you to believe that your feelings are reciprocated. I am terribly sorry, but my feelings for you are of the same nature as my feelings for Alice or Rosalie.
       --Edward

I look down at the letters on my bed. "Edward?" I call softly, knowing he'll hear me. In an instant, he's lying next to me. "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"I didn't think it was necessary. I'm sorry."

"Didn't you realize you were giving her the wrong idea?" I demand. He looks at me incredulously.

"No. Why, did you?"

"Well, look at what you said!" I pick up a random letter. "Here. 'Tanya, I can't wait to see you. It's torture being away from you so long.' Or how about this one? 'I can't stop thinking about you.' What did you expect her to think?" He looks away guiltily.

"I got carried away. Part of me wanted to love her, just to love someone, but...I couldn't. It didn't work. So I apologized to her. I didn't know what else to say. Please don't be angry with me," he whispers. I don't want to be upset. I take a deep breath, trying not to feel hurt that he hadn't told me about Tanya, but I can only think of how insensitive he'd been with her.

"I'm going for a walk," I say, my voice shaking with the emotion that newborns are infamous for.

"Please don't go."

"I won't go too far. I'll stay away from humans." I leave him alone in the room, racing out of the house until the frigid night air hits me, clearing my head as I trudge through the snow.

Chapter 12

My Singer, Chapter 10

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:42:03 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 10
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: Edward came over to play dress-up with me. :] But I promise to give him back.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9
Note: Here there be fluff! Also, I just wanted to advertise an AU archive that I posted this fic on. It's got some really great ones on there! It's called A World Beyond and I recommend that you check it out.
Bella Swan

I'll never be able to thank Esme enough for buying a house with so many bathrooms. I realize how idiotic that sounds, but I don't know how I'd ever handle sharing a bathroom in my current state. Everyone would hate me for taking such a long shower. And they'd hate me even more for using up all the hot water were it not for the fact that, being filthy rich, the Cullens never have to worry about being able to pay an extremely high bill. So, with all this in mind, I attempt to relax, the hot water warming my icy skin as I try my very best not to think of him.

But the only thing I can imagine is the way his lips felt against my own and the sugary taste of his mouth. And that sensation of warmth that traveled through me, much warmer than this stupid water. I sigh in frustration, turning up the heat of the water to a temperature that once would have scalded me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I will myself to think of anything but his bronze hair and that annoying, adorable smirk.

So, somehow, my mind takes this as a cue to instead picture him naked in the shower next to me. My eyes open abruptly and I turn the water down to the lowest temperature possible, jumping as the freezing water pelts my back. But it only reminds me of his skin...

I turn off the water, stepping out of the shower angrily and wrapping myself in a towel. I throw on my clothes and leave, my hair still dripping with water as I step into my own room. Miserably, I sit on the bed Esme bought me. She'd figured that having a bedroom without a bed would be a little weird for a newborn, and she'd been right. I lie back on the mattress just as someone knocks on my door.

"It's me." He doesn't need to introduce himself; I've got the sound of his voice committed to memory. I swear my heart flutters.

"Come in," I say quietly. I open my eyes and see him standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed. "You can sit down if you want to." The mattress barely moves as he sits beside me, leaning back on his arms to support his weight.

"Bella," he mutters, my name sounding so sweet on his lips, "I've been thinking."

"Oh?"

"About us." Everything goes dead inside me as I realize what he's about to say. He's going to tell me that the kiss was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, that all that talk about figuring everything out was merely talk.  I must be an idiot to have ever gotten my hopes up. Well, at least I got the chance to taste him. And I was able to pretend that he returned my feelings for a day...

"Oh," I say, trying not to sound too disappointed.

"We are friends, correct?" he asks. Knowing that he's about to say we should stay that way, I avoid his gaze.

"I suppose."

"Well, I kept thinking about how much I care for you. And I realized that my feelings for you are not platonic at all. And I tried to deny it, because part of me was frightened of feeling this way, but I couldn't continue to lie to myself anymore. It's exhilarating, feeling this way," he confesses. I imagine that my heart starts beating again, pounding irregularly against my ribcage. I can only stare up at his marble features as his topaz eyes search mine for an answer. If I could still dream, I'd think this moment too perfect to be real.

"I-I--" I stutter, feeling lightheaded. "I couldn't have said it better myself." An excited giggle slips from my mouth.

"What's wrong?" Edward wants to know.

"Nothing. Everything is perfect," I tell him as he lies down next to me.

"I'll take that as a positive response." I only grin widely, this new revelation making me want to sing. He returns the smile, rolling over so that he is on top of me, leaning on his arms. His gentle breathing tickles my skin. "I don't understand. You're not human anymore. How do you smell so delightful?" he demands, inhaling deeply.

"Soap?" I suggest, causing him to laugh. His own aroma, sweet and intoxicating, surrounds me. Edward leans down to kiss me gently, but my newborn lust has other things in mind; I nibble on his bottom lip as my fingers tangle themselves into his unruly bronze hair and I put everything into this kiss. The pain, the anger, the frustration, the lust, and the fear all suddenly meet at my lips, trying desperately to escape. I can feel his body responding with its own emotions, his guilt and my confusion coming together to dance at the tips of our tongues.

He pulls away from me and we both stay completely still, an intense, electrical silence filling the air. Finally, he leans down again, but this time to kiss my throat; I shudder at the sensation that floods through my body as his lips touch my skin. "Did you do that on purpose?" he asks, kissing an invisible trail up my neck.

"Do what? Kiss you?" My voice shakes as I speak.

"No," he murmurs against my jaw. "Did you mean for me to hear your thoughts?"

"No," I whisper, unable to speak with more volume. He kisses my chin.

"Hmm." He kisses one corner of my mouth and then the other. "Interesting." Finally, he plants a kiss directly on my lips and says, "Esme's looking for you." With one last kiss on my forehead, Edward is gone and I'm left alone and bewildered. After a moment, I hear a knock.

"Bella, I just wanted to talk to you," says Esme.

"Sure, come in," I reply. She opens the door and walks into the room. She knows, I think. Well, of course she knows. On the off chance that Esme has not heard the conversation that Edward and I had upon our return yesterday, the smell of my room surely gives it away. His scent is everywhere, lingering in the air as strongly as though he is still present.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, taking a seat on my bed.

"Better," I respond honestly. Well, duh. Who wouldn't feel better after what just occurred? She reaches out and holds my hand tenderly.

"It's so hard for you. I can see that. But I just want you to know that it will get easier as time goes on. You don't have to run away from us, Bella. We want you here. Has anyone told you about how I got turned?" she asks.

"No. I mean, Edward told me about you falling off a cliff--" I begin.

"Falling? Oh, no, dear. I jumped," she corrects me.

"Huh."

"He's such a gentleman," she states proudly. "Anyway, when I was sixteen, I broke my leg from falling out of a tree. My family took me to the hospital and the doctor that attended to me was Carlisle." She smiles. "Later on, my father pressured me into a family friend. It was the biggest mistake of my human life. He was abusive. Eventually, I got pregnant, but I knew I couldn't raise a child with such a horrid man. I ran away and became a school teacher, but...my baby died a few days after being born. I was devastated; he was all I had. Life wasn't worth living anymore. So, I tried to kill myself. By some coincidence, Carlisle was working at the only hospital in town. He remembered me and saved me. It wasn't long before we were married. I was happy, Bella, but I never quite got over my son's death; Carlisle helped me to move on as much as I have. And I guess...somehow I've become the mother of our little family," she finishes softly. "You know, sometimes having someone there with you can make all the difference. Jasper never would have made it this far without Alice. Rosalie never fully moved on, but Emmett keeps her going."

"I can see that," I comment.

"Edward has always been alone. And all these years, I've been afraid that he always would be, even though I knew he deserved someone.  I'm so glad that he has you now. And I know that he will be able help you through this.  It will get better. You just have to believe it," she tells me.

"Thank you," I say. She pulls me into a hug, squeezing tightly.

"It will get better," she repeats. As she lets go, she asks, "How do you like your room?"

"It's lovely," I reply. I'm grateful that the house's previous owner painted my room a cheerful yellow. After all, who knows when I'll step into the sunshine again?

"What about the bed? Is it the right size? I wanted to buy a larger one, but it would completely throw off the arrangement of the room." When she says this, a horrifying thought enters my mind. Surely this is a coincidence. Surely Esme hadn't heard what just occurred and jumped to the conclusion that a bigger bed may one day become necessary.

I must be overreacting. Esme bought me this bed with no false pretenses. It was to make me feel more at home. But, then again, she was just talking about how Edward would make things better for me.  No. I refuse to believe that Esme would ever consider that. Even if she did, I'll pretend like she didn't. "The bed is nice," I say calmly, taking a deep breath. Edward's comforting smell fills my lungs.

"Excellent. And there's nothing you'd like to change about you room?"

"Not a thing," I answer. With a smile, Esme leaves the room and I, still filled with embarrassment, bury my head in my sheets.

"Perhaps your defenses are lowered when you feel strong emotions." I lift my head up and gasp when I see Edward standing over my bed. "Sorry," he apologizes, but his expression is smug.

"What are you talking about?" I inquire.

"I'm trying to figure out why I heard your thoughts on two occasions that you didn't want me to. And maybe three."

"Maybe?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Well, just now is one that I'm positive about, because you said you didn't want me to hear that.  And by the stream, you thought, 'Why can't he just kiss me?' I'm almost sure that one was unintentional. And after your first hunting trip, when you hugged me, you thought, 'This is nice'. I'm unsure if that one was involuntary."

"Of course it was," I scoff, avoiding eye contact as a terrible though enters my mind. "Did you only kiss me because I wanted you to?"

"You're embarrassed of what I heard," he observes, noticing the way I avert my eyes from him.

"That's beside the point. Why did you kiss me?" It makes sense that he'd only been trying to please me; after all, what could he want with me?

"I couldn't control myself. But I'll admit that you gave me the idea," he replies.

"What did you hear earlier? When you kissed me?" I wonder.

"It doesn't matter, he answers.

"Edward," I insist.

"You know what you were thinking, Bella," he tells me.

"I don't remember. Besides, how would I know exactly when you started hearing my thoughts?"

"How do you not remember?"

"Um, I was kind of wrapped up in the moment."

Sighing, he shrugs in defeat. "Fine. You were contemplating the possibility of the two of us..."

My eyes widen and I suddenly remember. "Oh, God, you were right about it embarrassing me..." 'We ought to utilize this bed' were the exact words I'd used in my head. I groan miserably. "I'll never have any secrets in the house." Edward laughs at my chagrin, sitting next to me.

"We don't keep secrets from each other," he says.

"I like my privacy," I state, sitting up. He puts his arm around me, pulling me to his side.

"They're happy for us. Especially Esme."

"I noticed. She was just talking to me, remember? I don't understand. How can they be happy for us already? This only happened a little more than twenty-four hours ago," I remind him. "And I'm not even sure what 'this' is."

"Alice already knew," he comments.

"Figures," I mutter.

"Do you remember that vision she hid from us? The one that you were in?" he asks.

"Yes," I say, scowling when I think of how curious I'd been about the vision.

"It was us."

"What were we doing?"

"What I saw wasn't very conclusive--"

"You should really consider being more honest," I say.

"All right, you were wearing a white dress."

"I was what?"

"It could've been anything, really..." I start to laugh hysterically. "Note to self: never mention marriage to Bella," Edward says under his breath.

"Sorry. I just...how far into the future was this?"

"No idea. We don't age, so what clues could I have?"

"Hopefully it's not anytime too soon," I say. He frowns slightly. "Please don't take that the wrong way. I've just got some...issues with the idea of marriage."

"I wouldn't leave you, if that's what you're thinking."

"What was your name when you were human?" I want to know.

"Edward Anthony Masen. Haven't I told you that?"

"I needed to change the subject." He chuckles.

"How do you feel about venturing beyond the walls of this room?"

"I feel like that would not be good," I say.

"It won't be so bad. In fact, everyone will probably just pretend they have no idea of what's going on. Why are you so easily embarrassed, Bella?" he asks.

"You don't understand. When things like this happen, I am put on the spot. I hate that. It just leaves room for me to do something stupid so that everyone can laugh. Klutzes are natural spotlight-haters. Also, they've known you for so long; what if they don't think I'm good enough for you?"

He laughs darkly. "Then they ought to consider that I'm the one who lost self-control and bit you. I believe that makes me far worse."

Then another question comes to mind. "What if...what if something bad happens and one of us gets hurt?"

"I've heard enough 'what ifs'," he whispers, kissing my cheek. "Let's go."

"All right. But I have one question first: how would you label this...situation?" When I consider all the things I'd like to label our relationship as, I find that they're all too sappy to say aloud.

"Why not just let it develop on its own?" he asks, standing up. Sighing, I stand and follow him out of the safety of my room.

"Hi Bella, hi Edward," Alice says casually when we arrive in the living room. As she sits in the armchair and watches television, it's painfully obvious that she's trying too hard to ignore the situation between her brother and I, bless her heart.

"Hi Alice," I respond, attempting to sound as nonchalant as she does. Edward only nods before sitting on one of the sofas. I take a seat next to him and ask, "What are you watching?"

"Some reality TV garbage," she replies, shrugging. "My soaps are coming on in a few minutes." She flashes a grin at us.

"Because soap operas are so much classier than reality television," Edward says teasingly.

"Nobody asked for your opinion," Alice sneers. A she speaks, Rosalie walks into the room.

"Isn't there something else on?" she grumbles, sitting in a loveseat.

"No."

"So, Bella," Rosalie begins, "you seem to be feeling better."

"Much better," I answer. I see her look from me to Edward and back.

"Good," she say simply, turning to face the television. A frustrated sigh comes from Edward's mouth. I look at him, wondering what Rosalie is thinking that's upset him, but he carefully avoids my gaze, staring straight at the television.

Sitting in a room full of lounging vampires is like being in the middle of a wax museum--no one moves, or even blinks, and yet they look so real, as though they might waltz out of the room at any moment. It dawns upon me that I'm not an eager tourist snapping photos at this museum; I'm a part of this surreal display of living statues. Suppressing a shudder, I look down at my folded hands. Just leaning against Edward isn't enough to satisfy me. I'd much rather be alone with him in my well-sized-but-not-gigantic bed, while he utters my name in that dazzlingly smooth voice--

The angel of my fantasy clears his throat and shoots me a meaningful look that basically says, "Stop it, I can hear every word you're thinking."

"Sorry," I apologize, looking at the television screen. His cool lips brush my cheek briefly, accompanied with a rushed whisper.

"It's all right, I don't mind it." I stare at him incredulously as feigned retching noises reach my ears.

"Honestly, Edward, I always thought you'd be less annoying once you finally got a girlfriend," says Emmett, ducking as his brother throws a pillow at his head. He moves over to sit with Rosalie, who plucks his arm. "Gosh, Rose, what'd I do to you?"

"Stop it," she orders quietly. The force of her words quickly subdue him. It's then that I realize what he said; the word "girlfriend" echoes in my head, childish and sugary.

"God, I hate this show. Alice, you do realize that there's a Lakers game on, right?" Emmett says.

"Don't care. Spencer just kissed Harper and Davey's extremely upset about it. Maybe he'll take off his shirt and cry himself to sleep," Alice responds, causing Emmett to make a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. I can't help snickering at her comment.

"Tsk, tsk, sister. Giggling over soap opera guys? I'm disappointed," he scolds me mockingly.

"I wish I could hear Spencer's conflicted monologue, but someone's loud mouth--" Alice begins, but halts mid-sentence. "Carlisle will be back in three minutes. While he was in the book store, the hospital called. He got the job."

"Of course he did," I mutter.

"We should throw a party!" Alice exclaims.

"That'd be unnecessary. You know he only sits through those things for your sake, right?" Edward tells her.

"Of course, it'd only be us and Tanya's coven, but we'd manage..." continues Alice.

"I agree with Edward," Rosalie pipes in.

"...and we could use Edward's sound system..."

"Once she gets started, there's not stopping her," hisses Edward. Just then, the door swings open and Carlisle steps out of the foyer.

"Hi Carlisle! I saw you get the job and was wondering what kind of music--" Alice starts.

"Give it up!" Emmett interrupts.

"But Carlisle, Bella's never been to one of my parties! Do it for her!"

"No offense, Alice, but thirteen people sitting around and listening to music can hardly be considered a party," Rosalie scoffs.

"If Bella really wants to go to one of your parties, I'd love one.  It can be her decision; you know I don't mind either way," Carlisle says diplomatically, leaving the room.

"Bella! It can be a 'Carlisle-just-got-hired-again and 'Bella-and-Edward-finally-got-together party!" squeals Alice.

"Um. No, thanks," I say.

"Please? Please, please, please?" she begs, pouting.

"Sorry, no. I'm not a party person," I decline, looking away from her.

"Fine!" she huffs, storming out of the room. I can clearly hear her mutter the words 'not my friend' and 'never planning your wedding' under her breath.

"Maybe I should--" I begin, feeling guilty.

"Don't," everyone says at once.

"Lakers game! Awesome!" Emmett cries out, snatching the remote from Alice's previous seat.

"That's my cue to leave," Rosalie mutters, rising from the loveseat.

"Mine too," I agree, following her out of the living room. Once we're both in the hallway, she turns to me.

"Bella," she whispers as quietly as possible. "I want to talk to you." She clutches my hand and pulls me up the stairs into her and Emmett's room. It's clear that she did most of the decorating; the walls are painted lavender and the room is filled with gold and purple, reminding of a queen's quarters.

"Your room is beautiful," I breathe, admiring a piece of art on the wall. "Is this a Van Gogh replication?"

She grins. "It's not a replication.  And thank you." My jaw drops. "Carlisle met Van Gogh when he was young and always held onto it. He gave it to me after I was turned because he thought my room was particularly dismal."

"But that's not why you brought me here," I say nervously.

"No," she says softly, sitting on her bed. "Sit," she commands. Unintentionally, I notice that her bed is at least twice the size of mine and shudder in disgust as I obey her order. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing," I bluff, taking a deep breath. After a moment, she looks at me.

"Bella. I like you. Well, I obviously don't know you very well, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. And to attract Edward, you must be very special," she begins, smiling. "But don't you think this is a bit hasty?"

"Should I?"

"What I mean is, this isn't like a human relationship. Our kind is known to get closely attached to those we love. If you're at all unsure about what you feel for Edward--or what he may feel for you--then it's crucial to slow down. If one of you falls in love and the other doesn't, the consequences could be disastrous, Bella, especially when you'll be around each other for the rest of eternity." She pauses, and my mind hangs onto one word: "love". Now that it has been suggested, it seems like the perfect label for my situation with Edward, but part of my mind protests. Love? Isabella Marie Swan, are you insane? This isn't right! You've known him for all of a month. But so much has changed over the past few weeks. I'm not even human anymore. Why can't it be love? "Newborn emotions can be confusing. I don't want either of you getting hurt," Rosalie continues. "Just wait a year, then--"

"I love him," I whisper incredulously.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie clearly thinks I haven't been listening.

"What you said, it's true. I completely understand. You're his--our--sister, and your concern is appreciated. But I love him." I turn to her, feeling suddenly tipsy as this epiphany floods through me. "Tell me you understand."

She sighs in exasperation, but a hint of a smile can be seen in her golden eyes. "I do."

"And do you object?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"No. How can I object if it makes you both so happy?" As she speaks, I can't help but think that this question is aimed at herself rather than me.

"Thank you, Rosalie," I say.

"Just take my advice. Be careful. Please."  Her eyes are wide and pleading as she speaks.

"Of course," I promise, unsure of whether or not I'll be able to keep my word. With that, I leave, marching down the hallway to my own room in order to have a little solitude.

But it appears as though I have company. On my bed lies Edward. Startled, I jump. "For a vampire, you're awfully jumpy," he teases, smirking. Grinning like an imbecile, I jump onto the bed, crashing into his arms with a loud thump. He pulls me to his side. "Someone's eager to see me."

I wrap my arms around his waist and lean in toward his ear. "Rosalie talked to me."

"I know," he replies.

"Oh. Right. I guess you heard."

"I did."

"Did you hear what I said?" I wonder.

"I might've. But refresh my memory," he says.

"Earlier, I'd been trying to figure this out.  What I feel for you, I mean," I tell him.

"Mmhm."

"But she helped me realize something. Edward...I love you. And I know it's stupid and that everything is happening so fast, but...I don't care." I look up at him to see the thoughtful expression on his face.

"Bella Swan, you are my life now," he murmurs sweetly, pulling me closer. He smiles crookedly the way I love him to before adding, "And you always will be."

In that moment, in spite of everything, I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Chapter 11

My Singer, Chapter 9

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 01:55:22 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 9
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: Edward came over to play dress-up with me. :] But I promise to give him back.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8
Note: Sorry it took so long, but please stop asking if I'll continue. I promise that I will finish this story!

Edward Cullen

I think she's having a nervous breakdown. Alice thinks as she walks into the living room.

"Are we ever going to sell this place?" I ask in an effort to change the subject.

"I guess." She sits on the sofa that we'd left behind. Despite the fact that most of the furniture is still here, the old house is clearly unlived in; a thin layer of dust blankets everything and the air feels stiff. But that's not the point. She's not adjusting.

"Give her some time," I mutter, wanting to believe that Bella will be all right.

She's not like us. She left everything behind, and on top of that she has to deal with her newborn thirst.

"You weren't there when Rosalie changed. It took awhile, but she adjusted."

Only because of Emmett. Alice opens her mouth and finally speaks aloud: "She's not all right. She's trying to be strong, but--"

"--it's not quite working." We both look up to see Bella. Dark circles have formed around her red eyes.

"You're thirsty," I say.

"Of course. I'm always thirsty," she reminds me. "But I can wait until we get out of here."

"That's probably not not the best idea. You should hunt as soon as--" I begin.

"No," she interrupts. "I'm not waiting around for the wolves to show up. Besides, I want to get the hell out of here. I hate this stupid town."

Alice and I exchange a glance. "All right," she agrees, "but we're stopping as soon as we're out of Washington."

"Great," Bella says unenthusiastically, leaving the room.

"Where are you going?" Alice wonders.

"To the car."

"Oh, no you aren't. We have to wait until night falls," says Alice. Bella groans and collapses onto one of the sofas, a cloud of dust surrounding her.

--

There's an awkward silence in the car. "Please don't do this," I beg.

"Do what?" snaps Bella.

"Don't ignore me. Say something, please."

"All right. Why did you bother?" she asks.

"What?"

"Why did you come after me? Why did you bother? Why not just let the werewolves get me? You broke the new treaty and risked everything when it would be so much easier to let me die," she continues.

I stare at her. "What kind of questions that? Why on earth wouldn't I come after you?"

"You should've left me. It was my choice to leave or stay."

"It was a mistake. You regretted it."

"But you didn't know that. For all you know, I could have been happy!"

"Happy? What, because you'd be feeding on humans? On your own father? I don't want that kind of life for you; I don't want you to be like--"

"Like who?" she demands.

"Like me. Bella, I told you about when I hunted people. I don't want you to live like that." I clench my jaw.

"Why not? Why do you even care?" she shouts. And, for the first time, I consider the question in my mind.

After hesitating, I respond, "You're part of the family." The silence returns, but it's angry rather than awkward. After checking the rearview mirror to make sure that Alice is still following in the Jeep, I speak again. "We'll cross the border in a few minutes. The birth certificate that Alice forged for you is in the glove compartment. After we get past them, we're going to find the nearest forest and hunt."

"Fine," she grunts simply.

"Let Alice see your future," I tell her, not wanting anymore accidents.

"You must think I'm crazy."

"No."

"The bloodlust is insane. I imagine a human and the first thing on my mind is 'snack time'."

"That's normal."

"It doesn't feel normal. You think I don't notice the way everyone in Denali looks at me when I enter a room? I hear everyone saying, 'What's wrong with her? Why won't she adjust?' And if I could, I would. Believe me. I just have a problem with accepting a whole new life in a month. My family is worried sick! And, on top of that, I'm already starting to forget things. Little things, but things nonetheless. I can't even remember what color my mother's eyes are," she admits.

"Brown," I answer. "Her eyes are brown; I remember you telling me that when we...talked." Bella closes her eyes, thinking for a moment.

"You're right. They're brown."

"Let Alice see you future," I prompt. She keeps her eyes closed and I can suddenly see an image; a woman, whom I presume is Bella's mother, tilts her head back and laughs. Then that image is interrupted by Alice's vision of Bella tearing apart a bobcat viciously...

I shake the picture from my mind, making an effort to ignore the vision. When we finally stop, it's at a rest stop on the edge of the woods; we climb out of the cars (luckily, it's an overcast day) and inconspicuously walk into the trees.

"I think the bobcats should be about thirty miles away. Come on, Bella, we'll walk together so that Edward can run," Alice says.

"No, I'd like to stay with him, please," Bella responds politely.

"But Bella--"

"She can come with me if she'd like to," I say, sending Alice a look.

"All right," Alice agrees. But don't you dare let her out of your sight again. With that closing thought, she dances into the trees.

"So," Bella begins, "can you show me how to run?"

"What?"

"Teach me how to run. You're the fastest; teach me how to be fast, too."

I blink in confusion at her request, recalling the fear she had once shown at the thought of running; now, as she spoke, her voice was edged with a sort of rugged desire, her eyes wide and reckless. "But I thought you were afraid of running."

"I used to be. But my eyes used to be brown and I used to be weak. And I used to be afraid of you, too," she barks. "Show me."

"It's instinct," I tell her. "Just like when you ran as a human, only faster and--"

"--more graceful," she finishes softly. For a moment, apprehension flashes in her ruby eyes, but it is replaced with something that doesn't belong there, something I've seen in the eyes of countless other vampires, but never imagined seeing in her soft gaze.

It's something insane, something ruthless; I cannot name it, yet I recognize it so clearly as one of the side effects of the transformation. She smiles at me, but her smile is wrong, it's wicked. After a brief second, she takes off running until she becomes a blurred speck in the distance and suddenly stops, turning and shouting, "Are you coming?"

I start running, chasing after her as she darts wildly through the trees, a giddy laugh escaping from her lips. As we run, I'm certain that this must be the wrong direction, but I can hardly leave Bella alone, especially not in this state.

"Edward?" she calls.

"Yes?"

"There's a stream coming up. I can hear it and smell it. Can you?"

I inhale deeply, the scent of dampened soil and leaves filling my nostrils; when I strain my ears, I can hear trickling water. "Yes. Why?"

"I want to go there. It sounds nice." We continue to run until the smell gets stronger and the trickling gets louder and we find ourselves at the edge of a small stream. She sits in the tall grass bordering the muddy bank, patting the space next to her. Obediently, I sit.

"Bella, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm not sure," she answers softly. "I don't feel like myself anymore. When you changed...what was it like?"

"You should know," I reply.

"I'm not sure this is normal. It's like...it's like I'm suddenly bipolar. My moods change at the drop of a hat. One minute, I'm furious, and the next I'm completely happy."

"It is normal. When you're changed, all of your emotions are intensified. It becomes harder to control them. But this is the first time I've seen you act like this," I say.

"Well, when you guys left me with Emmett and Jasper, I kind of flew off the handle for the first time. It's scary. And I think the thing with Charlie just triggered it again. But when I ran..." she trails off, closing her eyes.

"It went away. It gave you a chance to calm down," I finish for her.

"Yeah. Exactly." She clasps her hands and looks down at them, and I suddenly notice her lips; they look impossibly soft, despite the fact that they are now harder than steel. There's a sort of energy between us that's too perfect to be described by mere words. Unsure of what I'm doing, I reach out and place my own hand on hers. As she looks up at me, I can sense the surprise she's feeling, but a timid smile still plays at her lips.

The babbling of the stream fills the silence that has fallen between us, this time neither angry nor awkward.  Then, I hear her thoughts:

Why can't he just kiss me?  Why does he have to be so perfect? I'm sure she doesn't mean for me to hear that. But once the idea enters my mind, I can think of nothing else. I reach out with my free hand and push a stray tendril of hair behind her ear. Nervously, I allow my hand to drift down to her chin, holding it gently between my fingers and thumb.  Her eyes close as I pull her closer and our lips barely touch, creating a sort of static between us. Bella presses her mouth against mine and she tastes exactly as she had when I ruined her life, except for the fact that this taste is not so pungent.

Due to my lack of experience in this area, I can't quite compare this particular kiss to any others; however, I can say that the feeling of excitement that courses through me as we kiss is like nothing I've ever felt. A sort of giddyness spreads over me along with a feeling I cannot quite place and the strongest physical attraction I've ever felt.

When the kiss ends, my eyes flutter open despite the fact that I cannot remember closing them. "We should go," I murmur as she opens her own eyes. She nods, and we both stand up to go find Alice.

When we arrive in Denali, my family has already moved all of our things to the new house. Esme is fussing over paint colors as I walk through the door with Bella and Alice, but she looks up from the sketchbook on the coffee table and smiles brightly. "Oh, Bella, I'm so glad you're safe," she says, embracing her.

"So am I," Bella responds, hugging Esme back. Just then, Tanya walks into the room.

"Bella!" she cries out, her voice full of genuine relief. "Everyone was worried sick. Thank goodness nothing happened with those wolves..."

"Where's your coven?" Bella asks.

"At home. I came to try to help Esme with choosing paint colors for some of the more difficult rooms. She was just getting to your bedroom."

"We can talk about paint later, dear," Esme says. "The others are out hunting, but I wanted to stay and wait for you. Oh, and Carlisle's interviewing for a job at the hospital." She turns to me and wraps her arms around me. "I'm so glad nothing happened..."

When my siblings return, more greetings ensue. Jasper keeps sending me strange looks and I can hear him thinking about every emotion I feel when I go anywhere near Bella. Once everything finally calms down, Esme takes the two of us on a tour of the house, and I notice that my room is right across the hall from Bella's. Both of our rooms are already filled with our things, and the paint colors of the previous owner remain; my room is a deep burgundy and hers is a bright, sunny yellow. Once Esme finally leaves, I sit down on the newly-bought sofa in my room and try to block out the chatter of voices swimming around in my head. Just as I'm beginning to settle down, there's a knock on my door.

"Can I come in?" asks Bella. Some part of me that never left 1918 reminds me of how improper it would be for her to enter my room.

"Sure," I call back. The door swings open and Bella walks in sheepishly, sitting beside me on the sofa.

"I'm confused," she says after a while.

"Oh?"

"Well, I mean, you kissed me. But on the ride here, you practically ignored me the whole time," she explains. Of course, she's right; I had been a bit rude to her, but only because I had no idea of what to say.

"I'm a bit confused, as well. You have to understand, I've never quite felt this way before."

"What way?" she wonders.

"I don't know what to call it," I lie. Actually, I know exactly what to call it, but the word scares me.

"Well...is it good? What you feel, I mean?" she asks.

"Of course," I snort, "but it's overwhelming at the same time."

"Then I think I feel that way, too," she says. She pauses before asking, "So what do we do now?"

In a moment of bravery, I reach out to hold her hand. "We figure it out, I suppose."

Chapter 10

The Host?

Tue, 27 May 2008 19:52:59 GMT

I read the summary for The Host and thought it was kind of weird that Melanie Stryder's name sounds and awful lot like Stephenie Meyer. The initials are reversed, though, like she was like "Oh, crap, what can her name be? Maybe I could just switch the 's' and 'm' in my name so it'll be Mephenie Seyer. But wait! That's not a real name. How about a change the letters a bit to make it Melanie Stryder! SCOORRRRE!"

Rant complete.

My Singer, Chapter 8

Sun, 18 May 2008 22:50:03 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 8
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Word count: 2443
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: Edward came over to play dress-up with me. :] But I promise to give him back.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7
Note: Sorry it took so long, but please stop asking if I'll continue. I promise that I will finish this story!

Bella Swan

The next day, Alice proclaims that there will be a thunderstorm; everyone gets excited at the prospect of a baseball game--everyone but me, of course.

"Bella, why aren't you going to play?" Alice asks when I mention this.

"Just because I'm supposedly graceful now--"

"And coordinated," she adds.

"--doesn't mean that I'm willing to play sports. Besides, I'm not even into baseball," I tell her. "I can help Esme--"

"But we won't have even teams!"

"I don't know how to play!"

"We'll teach you!"

"Alice," I say firmly, "no means no." She pouts pathetically, but I turn away before her manipulative tactics can get to me. "What is up with you Cullens and pouting? Emmett got me to play some mindless game yesterday by making that exact face and whimpering about sisters..."

"He does the same thing to me all the time. You just have to ignore him. And, you know, I still don't see you playing baseball--"

"You can't see me do anything," I interrupt.

"Yes, but if you were going to play, I don't think I'd see the game at all, and I do see it, sans Bella," she says, following me as I walk up the stairs.

"With good reason," I say curtly, walking into my room. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like some privacy." She steps out, shutting the door behind her.

The room is little more than storage space; cardboard boxes are piled everywhere, some of them filled with Alice's runway-worthy clothing (she ran out of space in the room she shares with Jasper). In one corner of the room, there is a small, wooden chair that faces a window. Sighing, I sit down and gaze outside at the ominous gray sky, so similar to the one I'd left behind in Forks. Automatically, I raise my hand to my eyes, but the tears I'd intended on drying don't exist. Suddenly, Carlisle's voice echoes in my head:

You are always allowed to change your mind.

Why should I be stuck here, with a group of people I don't belong in? But can I handle seeing everyone's disappointment in me when they see that I can't continue to live like this?

Who's to say I have to?

The plan forms rapidly in my mind; there will be a baseball game tonight, the perfect opportunity to slip away unnoticed. I just need a few minutes; just long enough to start running...or to steal a car.

There's a knock on the door as someone calls my name. "Bella?"

"Yes?" Esme pokes her head into the room.

"May I come in?" she wants to know. I simply nod in an attempt to hide my panic; had Alice somehow seen me leaving? Esme smiles at me weakly and hands me a newspaper. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to see it, but..."

NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR MISSING TEENAGER

Isabella Swan, 17, went missing on January 18th and has yet to be found. A nationwide search has been started, and her family says they are not giving up on finding her.

"I know she's alive," says her mother, Renée Dwyer. "I can tell. I just...I just hope that, if she reads this, she'll realize that we're still looking for her. There's still hope..."

I ball up the paper and toss it across the room.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Rosalie warned me not to show it to you, but...I thought you'd want to know," Esme apologizes.

"It's okay, I would've found out anyway," I grumble, leaving the room. I head downstairs and, finding the nearest exit, I yank the door open and step into the cold air.

"Bella?" I look up and see that Rosalie is standing next to me, tragically concerned, and yet stunningly gorgeous. "I know it's hard for you. I know you miss your family. But we all went through this, too. And we'll be here for you, but only if you let us." I turn to her again, surprised by this sudden compassion. This is the first time Rosalie has spoken to me, excluding the polite chatter that we'd occasionally exchanged.

"Um. Thank you," I murmur, at a loss for words. By the time I look up again, Rosalie is gone.

"Isn't it eerie when she does that?" asks Alice, who is suddenly standing beside me. "When I first met Rosalie, we didn't get along well, but I knew that we would eventually. Then, one day, it happened; she just sat down and started to talk to me. But it's diffrerent with you. I think she feels like the two of you have something in common. But what she said about us...it's true."

"I know."

She furrows her eyebrows in frustration. "Then why do I feel like--?" She doesn't finish speaking.

"Like what?"

"Like you're going to take off?" she hisses.

"W-what do you mean by that?" I stammer, hoping that my mind hasn't suddenly been vunerable.

"I can't see anything--you know that by now. But I have a strong feeling that you're leaving."

"Alice, I'm not leaving. You're probably just..." I trail off, unable to come up with a reasonable explanation.

She considers this for a moment before turning to me warily. "Maybe. Just promise me that you'll stay."

It kills me to lie to Alice. "I promise." With one last suspicious glance, she turns to go back inside. Sighing, I walk back to the log I'd sat on with Edward. Part of me wants him here again; the other part, the smaller part, wants to wallow alone. I hold my head in my hands and take a deep breath. A whimper passes through my lips, and I feel two emotions mingling. There's sorrow, of course, and...longing. I want Edward to be here, to tell me it'll all be okay, to...

I groan. This is so absurd! I can't allow myself to do this anymore. Desperate to focus on something else, I consider going inside to read a book before remembering who gave me the book. He is, quite literally, everywhere.

And when will these stupid memories start to fade? I am so sick of seeing my parents' faces in my head all the time.

Not to mention this unbearable thirst! Every minute of every day, I feel as though my throat is being consumed by flames, and it turns me into to someone--something--that I don't even know; something that would tear through human flesh, if only it had the chance.

I understand why the others hate this life so much. Looking up at the sky, I see dark, ominous clouds rolling in, covering the few stars that have appeared in the evening sky.

"You'll want to be ready in an hour or so." Alice has peeped her head out the door. "Wear old clothes."

I turn to protest, but she's already gone.

--

After getting over the fact that vampire baseball is cooler than ordinary baseball, I become extremely bored with the sport, and, despite the fact that the teams are not evenly numbered, I have no problem helping Esme on the sidelines.

Well, except for the fact that it's very difficult to slip away from her. "Could I get something from the house?" I ask her.

"What is it that you need?"

"Uh, well, there's..." I begin, searching for an excuse. "I...just need a...a rubber band. You know, to put up my hair." She doesn't appear suspicious and calls time out.

"Can someone go with Bella back up to the house?" she asks.

"I'll go," says Rosalie. "I need to change, anyway." She gestures to her mud-soaked pants and glares at Edward. "You just had to hit it in the huge mud puddle, didn't you? Come on, Bella, let's make this quick." She begins to run at top speed, darting past me.

"Wait!" I cry.

She stops. "What?"

"I don't run." Rolling her eyes, she comes back and throws me over her shoulder like a rag doll. Then she starts running.

In the house, Rosalie goes into one of the bathrooms to change. "There should be a rubber band in my room!" she shouts. I know that it won't take long for her to change, so I move as quickly as possible without running. I go into the den and grab Emmett's keys off the table and fling open the front door. As I climb into Emmett's Jeep, I see Rosalie standing at the door.

Edward Cullen

"Well, why didn't you go after her?" I demand.

"Edward, you have to stop blaming Rosalie," Esme tells me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"It's her choice to leave, if she wants to. And if she wishes to come back, she may," Carlisle says calmly.

"Hopefully, she'll have my Jeep when she does," Emmett grumbles.

"If she does," I correct him.

"I knew this would happen," Alice says.

"You saw it?" I ask.

"No. But I had a feeling she would leave. And--and she promised me that she wouldn't."

"Well, where could she be?" I wonder.

"Maybe you shouldn't go after her," Rosalie suggests. "You heard what Carlisle said, she can do whatever she--"

"I don't want her to do something she'll regret later. So, on that note, does anyone have any ideas as to to where she may be?"

"What makes you think she'll regret it?" Jasper asks darkly. "Some vampire aren't cut out for this lifestyle."

I ignore him. "I could try to track her."

"I strongly advise you not to," says Tanya. "Come on, dear, sit down." She grabs my arm in an attempt to pull me out of the foyer, but I yank it away from her.

Suddenly, I know where Bella is.  I don't mean 'visit'...I mean 'check up on'...she'd said. "She's in Forks," I mutter.

"Forks? What makes you--?" Alice begins.

"When I told her about the new treaty, she mentioned not being able to visit her parents," I explain.

"How can you be so sure, though?" she asks.

"Because I know her! And I've got to go after her and find her before the wolves do," I say, going to the door.

"Wait! I'll go with you!" Alice cries, following me.

Bella Swan

I park in the woods and step out of the car. Charlie's house is completely dark. Then it hits me; the scent of human blood, closer than I've ever been to it since my transformation. I can feel my muscles tensing up as I inhale it, preparing to attack...

No, I think. You can't eat Charlie.   The beast protests, but I hold my breath, refusing to allow it to rule me. You can't eat Charlie, you can't eat Charlie, you can't eat Charlie, I repeat in my head, planting my feet firmly to the ground.

He's vunerable...he's off-guard...

You can't eat Charlie, you can't eat Charlie...

Just think of that hot blood running down your throat... My mouth is on fire.

You can't eat Charlie...

I involuntarily take a step toward the house. No. You can't eat Charlie! I take a deep breath and begin to feel dizzy as the scent washes over me again.

Then, another smell mingles with it...salt. I hear what sounds like a sob. Charlie is crying. I sink down to the ground and pull my knees to my chest, holding myself together. It was stupid to come here, I should have stayed in Denali. I'd been arrogant to think that I could restrain myself, and now it's only a matter of time before I hurt someone I love. No. Don't let the monster win. I hold my breath again, burying my head in my knees, trying not to sob. My body trembles as I sit there, too afraid to move.

Edward Cullen

"Slow down."

"Since when do you care about the speed limit?" I bark, gripping the wheel.

"Ruining your engine won't help anyone," Alice says. I put less pressure on the pedal. After what seems like an eternity, we arrive in Forks. "What if Bella's not here?" Alice asks softly.

After hesitating, I answer, "Then we get out of here as soon as possible."

She nods. "I wish I could see her." I look at the dashboard clock to see that it's too early for Charlie to have left for work.

"We'll take a path in the woods to get to the Swan house," I say, parking on the side of the road.

"Don't you think this is a bit obvious? We've got werewolves to avoid," Alice says. Rolling my eyes, I drive into the trees and park.

"There." With that, I'm out of the car, running toward Charlie Swan's house. After a few miles, I see Emmett's Jeep. Alice and I slow down and walk until a house comes into view. At the edge of the trees sits a trembling figure.

"Bella?" I call softly. The figure's head snaps up at the sound of her name. Her eyes widen in disbelief. "Come on, we've got to go."

She shakes her head, pulling her knees to her chest more tightly. I can hear her voice in my mind. I was being stupid...I thought I could control myself...I can't move, or I might hurt him...please don't let me. I walk over to her cautiously and hold out my hand. She takes it, gripping it tightly as I lead her to the Jeep.

I'll get the Volvo. We can meet at the old house, Alice tells me silently. I nod and help Bella into her seat before climbing into the driver's side.

Once I start driving, Bella starts to breathe again. After a few shaky breaths, a quiet sob breaks the silence.

Unsure of what to do, I look straight ahead and focus on the road. She must not want me to know what she's thinking because I can't hear her anymore; she sobs again.

"I hate this," she whimpers. "I can never do anything. I'll never see my family again. Charlie was crying. They need me, and I'm not there for them because I'm too weak to go near them!"

"You're not weak. You're so young, Bella. It's understandable for you to slip up," I tell her between grit teeth. Without thinking, I reach out and grab her hand so that our fingers are entwined in the air. "Don't blame yourself," I murmur. "You were able to restrain yourself for hours. That's more than I can say."

Chapter 9

There aren't enough hours in a day...

Fri, 09 May 2008 20:52:00 GMT

It is very difficult to update weekly the way I'd like to. I've got tons of homework and essays and exams, AND I'm grounded from the computer (ahem, I'm using it anyway). I'm sorry, readers. I love writing, don't get me wrong, but I have other obligations, too. Please just remember that I will NOT abandon this story unless I get struck down by lightning or something (knock on wood). It's just that sometimes, things happen and I'm unable to write every evening the way I'd prefer to. I'll try my best to get the next chapter of My Singer posted this weekend and there might be some oneshots coming your way over the next few weeks, but I'm not going to make any promises.

Once again, I don't ever plan on leaving My Singer unfinished, so all of the readers of that fic can relax. Besides, there are only seven (or eight) more chapters left...why would I stop now?

Oh...and after My Singer and maybe a couple other fics...I'm probably going to take a little break from writing Twilight fanfiction and write some Harry Potter stuff (it was my first fandom, and I'm missing it). Just thought you should know.

My Singer, Chapter 7

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:32:58 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 7
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Word count: 2437
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: Edward came over to play dress-up with me. :] But I promise to give him back.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6
Note: I am tremendously sorry for the delay! My computer wasn't working for a week, and then I went out of town on a field trip for five days. Please forgive me! :(

Bella Swan

After borrowing one of Carmen's romance novels, I find a long sofa to stretch out on in the living room. A week has passed since my conversation with Edward, and the two of us haven't spoken since. I'm unsure if this is due to lack of interest on his part or if this sort of behavior is normal for him; it's possible that he simply has nothing left to talk about with me. Maybe he wants me to speak first, or maybe he's noticed how awkward I've been around him lately, or--

There I go, thinking about him again. I try to bring my attention to the book in front of me but my mind fails to comprehend the opening sentence. Honestly, Bella, I think to myself, what's so great about him that you can focus on nothing else? Well, his smile, for one. And his voice. And his scent, so uniquely sweet. And the way he--

Stop it! I've never been prone to obsessive crushes, and I will certainly not become some giggling fool over one abnormally gorgeous vampire. I look down at the page again, struggling to focus on it.

"Is something wrong?"

I jump, looking up to see Edward standing before me. "No," I grumble.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he says apologetically. I glance down at the book, pretending to be engrossed. "Esme worries about you," he murmurs, sitting in an armchair.

"Oh." I nod, feigning interest in Carmen's novel.

"She believes that you're having trouble fitting in," he continues.

"Then she must be fairly observant," I note, flipping the page.

"You hardly speak to anybody, and she thinks you may be feeling depressed ever since..." he trails off. I can practically feel the guilt radiating from him.

"And did she tell you this, or did you use your freakish talents to discover it?" I ask, putting the book down and gazing up at him. He grins crookedly.

"Those of us with special gifts must utilize them, or else they are wasted," he says, shrugging innocently. I roll my eyes.

"Being overly nosy is not a gift," I inform him. "Although, I guess it would be nice to make more of an effort to socialize. For Esme, you know. I have no idea why she's worrying about me already."

"Well...you know how she is. She opens her heart easily," he says. He looks away from me, lost in thought.

Eager to change the subject, I say, "No one ever fully explained to me why you guys came up early. Something about werewolves...?"

"Oh, right. The Quileutes--the people who live at the La Push reservation--have legends that say they are related to werewolves; some of them turn into wolves in order to protect their people. Vampires and werewolves are natural enemies, but a while ago, our coven made a treaty with the Quileutes: as long as we stayed away from their territory and didn't bite anyone--not just kill, but bite--they would stay away from our territory and wouldn't reveal us to the humans," he explains. "We had no idea that there were any of them left."

"And when I was bitten," I say, careful not to mention him, "the treaty was broken."

"Right. Carlisle managed to work out a compromise. We had to leave Washington forever, or else--"

"--they'd expose us," I finish. He nods. "So, that means that I can't...I can't even visit Charlie after I'm...older?"

"That is precisely what it means," he says, looking at me cautiously.

"Well," I say slowly, "there's always...there's always Renée, right?" I try to smile, though I'm sure he can see through it.

"Bella," he says softly, "it would probably be wise not to visit either of them."

"I don't mean 'visit'," I tell him. "I mean...'check up on'. As in, I just sneak to her house to make sure everything's going well, you know." I can tell he disapproves of this, but he remains silent.

Alice dances into the room then. "We're going shopping," she chimes. "Esme wants to buy paint and furniture for the house, you know. I'm going to buy some new clothes for Bella, and maybe something for myself. Edward, you're coming, but you'll be looking for--"

"I know what I'm going to look for, Alice," her brother grumbles.

"All right, all right. Personally, I think you should pick the one with the blue case. Right now, you're planning on getting the one with the red case, but all I see is you complaining about how bad the lead singer sounds," she rambles. I gave up on understanding the conversations between Edward and Alice a long time ago; they have a tendency to disregard the non-psychics in the room.

"Who else is coming?" Edward asks.

"Looks like Rosalie, Tanya...her sisters....Carmen's dragging Eleazar...Carlisle is going because Esme insisted that he has some say in the color of their bedroom..." Alice says, her expression distant.

"So Jasper and Emmett aren't coming?" wonders Edward.

"No; they're staying here with Bella," she answers.

"I hardly need babysitters," I mutter.

"It's for your own good," Alice informs me. "I can't see your future unless you want me to, and that means we need to take extra precautions."

"If I let you see my future, will you take less precautions?" I ask her.

"Maybe," she says. "You know, on the off chance that you would..."

Rolling my eyes, I try my best to relax. "No mind-reading," I warn Edward. Alice's expression goes blank for a brief moment before a small grin illuminates her face.

"What?" I ask, leaving my relaxed state.

"It doesn't matter," she replies, shrugging casually.

"So...do I need babysitters?" I inquire.

"Yep."

"But I thought you said--"

"Regardless of whether you need them or not, Emmett and Jasper hate shopping. They'd stay either way," she explains. I notice Edward sending her a dark look. "Sorry, Edward, but you'll have to wait like everyone else," she says.

"Alice..." he growls.

"Goodbye," she sings, dancing out of the room.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"Nothing," he responds, looking frustrated.

"Let me guess: she won't let you see her vision, either?"

"No. And she's singing Japanese showtunes in her head to keep me from finding out." He stays quiet before speaking again. "What's the book about?"

"Oh...uh...well, I only just started it. From the summary, I'm pretty sure it's a Victorian love story," I say.

"Don't tell me you actually enjoy those books with their contrived love scenes," he says, making a face. I know my cheeks would be flushed if I were still human.

"I borrowed it from Carmen; I was bored," I reply defensively.

He chuckles and remarks, "Were it not for Eleazar, Carmen would be no different than her sisters." He does not elaborate, but he doesn't need to; I know plenty about the Denali coven to understand his statement.

"Any idea what Alice saw?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"No," Edward answers calmly. Despite his efforts to mask his thoughts, I see through his bluff.

"Tell me," I prompt him.

"Honestly, I didn't have enough time to see more than a brief flash before she started singing," he insists.

"But you saw enough to know what it's about. You're lying, I can tell," I accuse. He stares at me for a long moment before sighing.

"Fine. I saw enough to know what it was about," he admits.

"All right, now tell me what it was," I say.

"I'll tell you what one of the things I saw was," he agrees.

"What?" I demand eagerly. He smiles.

"You. But Alice's visions aren't set in stone; what she saw was simply one possible path. The odds of the event actually occurring are slim," he says.

"Aw, man. That just made me even more curious," I mumble.

"Regardless," he continues, smirking, "we're leaving in ten minutes."
--

"Keep an eye on her; don't let her out of your sight," hisses Esme to Jasper and Emmett.

"Relax, Esme, everything will be fine," Emmett assures her, though the mischievous glint in his eye does nothing to help convince her of this. "We'll have her tucked in by nine, just like you said." With one last glance at me, Esme bids us farewell and walks out of the house, where everyone else has already piled into their respective vehicles; after a moment, the engines can be heard fading off into the distance as the cars drive away. "Don't worry, Bella, that last part was only for Esme's benefit. We'll let you stay up till ten," Emmett jokes.

"Ignore him; it makes things so much easier," Jasper advises me.

"Aw, don't listen to him! He's just bitter because I beat him yesterday at practically every video game ever created."

"Why on earth would I care about your moronic video games?"

"Why wouldn't you? You know, Jazz--"

"Ugh, don't call me that!"

"You don't say that to Alice..."

"You are really pushing me," growls Jasper.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry! Just don't use your Jedi mind tricks on me! Anyway, I was going to say that I'm open to a rematch, and--" Emmett begins.

"Absolutely not," his brother interrupts, beginning to walk away.

"Please?"

"No! You cheat every time!"

"I promise, this time I'll--well, I'll cheat a little less."

"Sorry, Emmett, but I've got something important to do upstairs," Jasper says as he leaves. Crestfallen, Emmett turns to me.

"Bella...normally I wouldn't ask you this. But will you please play a game with me?" he asks, pouting.

"Uh...well, I mean, I've got this book that I'm really into..." I lie, unwilling to be stuck playing some idiotic video game.

"Oh. Well, that's okay. I understand. I'll go find something else to do. I just thought..." he trails off.

"You thought what?"

"I thought that having a new sister would be fun. Alice is fun sometimes, I guess, but she's always with Jasper," he continues. He begins to walk away, his head hung in disappointment. I bite my lip, watching him, before finally giving in.

"Fine," I sigh. "I'll play." He turns to face me, grinning widely.

"Aw, thanks, Bella!" He grabs my hand and drags me out of the foyer, leading me down the hallway until we reach a room with an open door; inside, there is a large, flat screen television with two sofas facing in its direction. As Emmett turns on his game console, I sit down. "Okay, basketball, football, baseball, wrestling, or racing?"

"Um...which one's easiest?" I ask.

"Racing," he answers.

"All right, let's play that one," I decide. He tosses a steering wheel over his shoulder; surprisingly, I manage to catch it.

"Oh, and you'll need these." He walks over and hands me pedals, then sits beside me with his own equipment.

About five minutes into the race, I realize what a mistake it was to agree to this. "Why do I keep hitting the stupid wall?" I demand.

"Don't be so gentle when you steer; you have to really move the wheel," he tells me.

After taking his advice, I manage to at least stay on the track, but Emmett skillfully weaves through the other cars, easily making it to first place while I lag behind the rest. The third time he passes me, his car crashes into my rear. "Hey!"

"Sorry."

"You did that on purpose," I accuse, anger bubbling up inside of me. "You cheated!"

"It's not against the rules," he says impishly. A growl rises in my throat as I fling my steering wheel across the room and storm out. "Wait!" Emmett calls, following me into the hallway. "I'm sorry!" I turn around to face him.

"You're just saying that so I'll play with you; you don't mean it!" I grit my teeth, all reasoning gone from my mind as I lunge at him, yanking his hair.

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"Bella, what's the matter with you?" Jasper's voice asks. I feel him trying to pull me away from Emmett. "Come on, it's only a game," he reminds me. I stop struggling and allow him to pull me away; Emmett backs away from me as I sit down on the floor. Taking a seat next to me, Jasper places his hand on my shoulder. "Let me calm you down," he says. As soon as I follow his command, logic returns to me.

"Oh. Uh. Sorry, Emmett. It--it wasn't that serious," I mutter, feeling embarrassed.

"It's okay. I forgot how temperamental newborns can be," he says.

Relief washes over me. "You mean, I'm not going crazy? That was normal?"

"Well, not normal, so to speak," Jasper says, smiling, "but not odd enough to classify you as a freak." He removes his hand from my shoulder, but, despite the fact that he is no longer keeping me calm, I don't feel angry.

"It probably has something to do with thirst, too," Emmett says as I get up. "We should go hunting before the others get back."

--

"All right, all of your things are in these bags,"Alice says, pointing to twelve large shopping bags that are lying on the floor.

"How much money did you spend on me?" I wonder, my eyes wide.

"Um...it doesn't matter," she tells me. "I got this really cute dress for you, too, because you'll leave the house eventually, and you may end up going somewhere nice. Oh, and I bought some...er...unmentionables. Didn't want you running out of them. You'll love the shoes..."

I reach into one of the bags and pull out a blue blouse which is mysteriously missing its price tag. After rummaging through the rest of the (tagless) clothes, I see a sharp corner in the bag. "What's this?" I ask. Alice, who is distracting herself by trying on a pair of new heels, peers into the bag.

"Looks like a book," she mutters.

"You got me a book?"

"Nope," she replies, looking back at her shoes.

"So, where'd it come from?"

"No idea. But if it's in that bag, it's yours; someone else must've put it there." She turns to leave the living room.

I pull the book out; it's a large, leather-bound volume with its title written across the front in gold; The Complete Works of Jane Austen. I reach into the bag again and pull out another book; this one's smaller, but it's also bound in leather with gold writing. Wuthering Heights.

"You said you got bored," a musical voice states, "and you mentioned how much you liked those books. Now you won't be stuck with that nonsense Carmen reads." I look up to see Edward. Interpreting my surprise as shock, he asks, "You did say you liked them, right?"

"Uh...yeah." His brow is furrowed.

"Then what's wrong?"

"You--you didn't have to..."

"I know." He grins crookedly. "You're welcome."

Chapter 8

IT WORKS.

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:22:29 GMT

My computer is back. It works. Huzzah! I will motivate myself to finish chapter seven of My Singer soon, but not this weekend because I'll be out of town.

No computer...

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:22:59 GMT

Hey, guys! I know that a good deal of you have friended me because of 'My Singer', and I am so sorry that I haven't updated recently. My computer has a virus and is being fixed, and right now I'm using my aunt's computer to type this and keep up with all of my comments and stuff. I have f-listed for a good week or so, so I've probably missed a ton. :( Hopefully my computer will be fixed soon so I can update!

My Singer, Chapter 6 (Twilight Fanfiction)

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 06:29:07 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 6
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Word count: 2180
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: Edward came over to play dress-up with me. :] But I promise to give him back.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5
Notes: This chapter contains fluff.

Edward Cullen

Tanya is a relentless woman. She will stop at nothing to try to con me into making love to her; her favorite method is walking by and just happening to imagine our naked bodies tangled under her bed sheets, groping at each other desperately--it's absurd. The idea of living with her while Esme searches for another home is frightening, for lack of a better word.

This is what I'm thinking as we walk into the mansion that she and her coven share. The strawberry-blonde in question strolls casually into the foyer. "Hello," she greets us, extending her arms to pull us each into hugs. When she reaches me, I can't help but notice the way she presses her body against mine; she imagines me kissing her neck, cupping her breasts...

"It appears as though neither of us has changed," I say pleasantly, knowing that she understands the point I'm trying to get across.

Still a prudish waste of good looks, then? she thinks. I am too much of a gentleman to tell everyone the things about her that have yet to change, so I move to a different subject.

"Where are the others?" I ask her.

"Out hunting with your newborn; will she never be satisfied?" She looks annoyed as she speaks.

I feel strangely defensive and say, "You know how it is to be a newborn; surely you remember the thirst? Besides, she's not 'my newborn'."

Why so rude? I ignore her thoughts.

"Tanya, I just want to thank you and your coven for allowing us to stay in your home," Carlisle says gratefully.

"Oh, nonsense. It is a pleasure to have old friends around," she tells him, grinning widely. Quite suddenly, the door behind us swings open to reveal Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazar, Esme, and Bella all standing in the doorway.

"Stupid snow," Bella mutters, her shoes squeaking on the hardwood floor as she walks inside. She looks up and sees everybody. "Oh. Hi."

"Hello. How are you?" Carlisle wants to know.

"Everyone keeps asking me that," she grumbles. "I'm fine."

"Well, there's no sense in standing around in the doorway," Tanya points out, leading us into the spacious living room. "Please sit down," she says, motioning to the furniture.

I sit down in a beige leather armchair in the corner of the room. It faces the other matching furniture; two sofas, two loveseats, and two other armchairs, all centered around a large, glass table.

"I've found a house, but its owners aren't moving out for another two weeks," Esme announces, sighing as she sinks into a sofa beside Carlisle.

"That's wonderful," Alice remarks from a loveseat that she's sharing with Jasper.

"What's it look like?" Emmett asks curiously, his arm draped around Rosalie's shoulders in another loveseat.

"Well," Esme begins, turning to Tanya, who sits beside her. "Tanya's seen it, she may be able to explain it better."

"It's actually very similar to your old mansion," Tanya says. "But it's a bit larger since Bella is with you now." Bella, who is sitting awkwardly on a sofa with Carmen and Eleazar, looks up sharply upon hearing her name, as though she hadn't been listening to the conversation up until now. "How do you like it?" Tanya asks her.

"It's huge," she murmurs, looking down at her hands, which are folded in her lap. "And beautiful."

"Which room do you want? I want the room with the walk-in closet, unless you decide that you want that one," Alice says.

"When I first saw that room, it was with you in mind," Esme tells her. "But Bella, you can choose any other room you want."

"Um...I liked the small one," she says uncomfortably. "I don't need much space; I don't have half as many things as you've accumulated."

The conversation continues as everyone catches up with one another. When they finally run out of things to say, Alice observes that there will be a thunderstorm next month and suggests a baseball game, to which we all heartily agree, and a long silence falls over the room once more.

"I'll be outside," Bella says abruptly, leaping up from her seat. Her eyes are wide as she hurries out of the room.

"Someone should follow her," says Alice.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Esme demands.

"I don't see anything bad happening, but she may try to find a human..."

I feel everyone's eyes land on me expectantly, accompanied by thoughts of, Take care of your newborn. "Don't all volunteer at once," I say, walking out of the room and into the hallway, where a glass door looks out into the forest. Bella is sitting perfectly still on a log, her arms hugging her knees as she concentrates intently on the pine trees before her. Her head snaps up as I open the door, her body tensing up defensively and then relaxing again as she sees me. In an instant, I am standing in front of her.

"I'm sorry. They thought you might go try to go on a rampage," I tell her. She smiles.

"No, I'm just thinking." I realize how crippled I feel around her, unable to know exactly what's going through her mind. "It's so boring to be a vampire," she says. "You would think that being a blood-sucking monster would be slightly more exciting."

I laugh, sitting next to her on the log. "Well, when you live forever, things tend to become a bit mundane. Especially if you attend high school multiple times." It's quiet as she looks up at the night sky. "Days begin to melt together. It's better if you have something to do."

"Like what?"

"Well...a hobby, I suppose."

"So, what, do vampires collect stamps or something?" she asks, laughing at the absurdity of the idea.

"Not quite," I reply. "What did you do in your human life?"

"Um. I read a lot. And I liked cooking, but I obviously can't do that now. I mean, I can, but it would be pretty pointless."

"Anything else?" I inquire, unsure of why I actually care.

"Not really. Most of my time was spent taking care of Renée, my mom," she explains.

"Was she sick?"

"No, just...capricious. I have no idea what she'll do without me. I guess Phil will take care of her." She appears to be lost in thought. "What about you?" she wonders suddenly after a few minutes have passed by. "What did you like to do in your human life?"

"I can't remember much. I remember that I liked playing the piano; I still do. I believe that my mother taught me, because I vaguely recall one time when I was very young, sitting next to her at our grand piano. The only things I remember are the way she smelled like lilac perfume and the way she said, 'No, love, you can't play a song until you learn your scales.'"

"How badly do the memories fade?" Bella whispers, pulling me back to the present.

"It depends on how badly you try to hold onto them. Rosalie still remembers her last night vividly."

"What about you? What happened when you were changed?" she asks, looking into my eyes with curiosity.

"I was dying of the Spanish influenza in 1918. Carlisle was a doctor at the hospital, and the disease had already claimed the lives of my parents. He bit me to save me; I was the first one he did that for."

"What about everyone else?"

I go on to tell her how everyone else was changed, leaving out the details of Rosalie's rape and Esme's suicide attempt, and glossing over Jasper's previous lifestyle. I can tell by looking into her red eyes that she suspects my half-truths, but she thankfully does not press the matter. When I finish, she still has questions.

"You act like you dislike Tanya; why?" she wonders.

"I don't necessarily dislike her, but she has a tendency to be overly friendly." She understands, giggling to herself.

"Carmen mentioned that you keep resisting her attempts," Bella says.

"She wasn't lying," I say. Neither of us speaks for a while, and I realize just how much I enjoy talking to Bella; we may actually become friends someday.

"Have you ever tasted human blood? Besides when you attacked me, I mean?" she asks. I look away from her eyes, which are free of accusations, finding it easier to speak while focused on the forest.

"Yes," I admit. "When I was younger, I went through a rebellious stage; I didn't understand Carlisle's resistance to blood, and I didn't think it was worth the pain just to spare a few lives. I only hunted the most evil of people, using my ability to stop them from harming others. I told myself that, if I was ridding the world of those people, then I was less of a monster. Even if it didn't make me a hero, at least I wasn't a villain."

"How...how does it taste?" she asks, closing her eyes as if to imagine the sensation.

"If I tell you, it will only make it harder to resist it."

"That good, huh?" she says under her breath. "Well, go ahead. Continue your story."

"Eventually my guilt caught up to me, so I returned to Carlisle and Esme." She nods in understanding.

"What happened to all of your CD's?" she wonders.

"What?"

"When I woke up, I saw them in your room. Did you leave them behind, or did you take them with you?" she clarifies.

"Oh, I brought them with me. I managed to fit them into three suitcases. They're all in the Volvo."

"What kind of music do you listen to?"

"A wide variety." I don't have to be able to read her mind to know what she's thinking. "Do you want to see them?"

"Please?"  she begs. I stand up, leading her to my car.  As we walk, she has more questions.

"Do you never tire of interrogating me?" I ask teasingly as I unlock the car.

"Sorry," she apologizes.

"Don't be; I like talking to you," I say, opening the passenger door for her. She slides in, careful to avoid my gaze as I sit in the driver seat. I twist around to pull a small suitcase out of the back seat, setting in on my lap and unzipping it swiftly. A small gasp escapes her mouth as she sees how many CD's there are. Her scarlet eyes land on one and she chuckles, grabbing it.

"Linkin Park?" she snorts.

"Yes."

"Phil bought me this CD for Christmas," she says.

"How do you like it?"

"Uh...they're a bit too noisy for me," she confesses.

"Did you even listen to the whole album?"

"Well...no. Just the first two songs," she tells me sheepishly.

"See, that's what I thought, too, the first time I heard them. But then I re-listened to them, and I liked them. You should give them another try," I urge.

"Fine," she sighs. "But only if you tell me more about when you were a human."

"All right," I give in, turning the key so that the CD player works and inserting the disc. I tell her what I can of my human life, describing my parents in as much detail as possible. She asks about school, and what I'd wanted to do with my life, to which I respond with a story about how foolishly I'd wanted to be drafted for the war, despite my mother's worry over the matter. She asks me if I'd ever fallen in love, and if I'd had any other family to miss me after I was transformed. With every word I speak, she grows more transfixed, firing questions at me rapidly. What were my human friends like? Did I miss being human? The CD has repeated itself twice when she finally grows quiet, satisfied at last.

"I like this CD," she admits as the first song plays for the third time. She begins to hum along and I grin widely.

"I knew you would. Now, you must be tired of asking me questions."

"No, I've just run out of them," she says.

"Well, then, you won't mind if I ask you a few things?" The CD repeats itself twice more as I ask her about her human life, which is still clear in her memory. What was her favorite color?  What were her friends like? What kind of books did she like? What were her favorite movies? She answers them all, certain questions triggering entire stories or rants, to which I listen eagerly. Neither of us realize how long we've been talking until the sky begins to brighten with fuzzy pink light. I observe that we've been speaking for hours, but we don't move to get out of the car. A long silence falls between us as the sun rises. She looks over at me and I notice that she is barely breathing, as though she is afraid she'll shatter the peace. My eyes meet hers and I can't help but notice the way her lips are slightly parted, like she wants to say something, but all words have escaped her. I lean closer to her, hardly aware of my actions as I tuck a few stray tendrils of dark hair behind her ear. My hand lingers there for a moment as I really see Bella for the first time, truly comprehending her beauty like never before.

Both of our heads snap around to face the house as we hear the front door open; my hand finds its way to my lap as Tanya steps out into the dim light of dawn. "We were wondering what the two of you were doing," she says softly, thought we both hear her clearly. I take the keys out of the ignition, stepping out of the car. Bella and I walk to the house in silence, neither of us quite sure of what has just occurred.

Chapter 7

OH MY GAWD (OH MY GAWD, YOU GUUUYYYS)

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:02:30 GMT

ZOMG. My local Borders is throwing a Twilight prom in May and (probably) a midnight release party for BD! Eek! Borders is the place to call if you want a party, fur realz.

Just thought it'd be a good idea to share this helpful tip with those on my f-list who like Twilight (AKA most of you).

P.S. Spring break has officially started. Multiple updates? I'm thinking yes.

My Singer, Chapter 5 (Twilight Fanfiction)

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 18:42:15 GMT

Title: My Singer, Chapter 5
Author: toxic_glory
Rating: PG
Genre: Alternate universe/Romance/Mild angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella and other canon ships
Short summary: What if Edward had been unable to resist the temptation of Bella's blood on that fateful day?
Word count: 2180
Any warnings: AU
Disclaimer: Edward came over to play dress-up with me. :] But I promise to give him back.
Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4
Note: Hehe...sorry this took so long to post.

For the next two weeks, things are rather uneventful. We're still being forced to go to school every day (where all anyone talks about is whether or not Bella's still alive). The other students are sending us strange looks, as though they somehow know that we--or I, rather--are the reason for their classmate's mysterious disappearance. When I check their thoughts, they are no more suspicious of us than before; despite this, my siblings have been on edge, although Jasper attempts to keep us relatively calm. One afternoon, there is an unfamiliar car in our driveway as we return from school. Alice sends me a look from the passenger's seat.

"What's that smell?" she demands.

"I don't know...it's familiar," I say, searching through my memory for the odor that lingers in the air.

"It almost smells like dog," Jasper says. My eyes widen in understanding.

"Werewolves," I mutter under my breath as the memories of our last encounter with the Quileutes returns to me.

"What?" Alice hisses. "No, that's impossible. I would've seen that."

"I know that smell, Alice. Emmett and Rosalie should recognize it, too," I insist. As though to verify my claims, she turns to face the back seat, and each of them nod. "I can hear him thinking; he wants us to get out of the car. He knows about Bella," I inform them.

"Look what you've gotten us into! He could expose all of us!" scolds Rosalie.

I pull out my cell phone to call the hospital and a receptionist connects me to Carlisle. "What is it?" he asks urgently.

"There's someone from La Push parked in our driveway. I think he's a werewolf," I whisper.

"I wasn't aware that there were any of them left."

"Neither was I, but we can all smell him. He knows about Bella," I explain.

"What's his name?" Carlisle asks.

"I can't be sure. He's not thinking about his name right now. What should we do?"

"Invite him inside, remain calm with him, and wait for me to get there. I'll try to end my shift early." I can hear the pain in his voice as he speaks, for the idea of leaving early and allowing even one life to end disturbs him.

"All right," I agree, hanging up. Looking up, I see that everyone else has already gotten out of the car and I follow. We stand beside the unfamiliar sedan, gathered around the driver's door; through the window, we see that a dark-skinned man is sitting down, gazing up at us placidly. He wrinkles his nose, and I hear him thinking about how terrible we smell. He opens the door and climbs out, closing it gently behind him.

"My name is Sam Uley. I've come to speak with you all on behalf of the people in La Push," he says, his expression calm.

"Our father's not here right now," I inform him.

"I can wait," he says.

"Well, come inside, then," I offer, nodding my head toward the house. My siblings stare at me with their mouths hanging wide open, mentally asking me if I'm insane. Sam Uley ignores them, following me to the front door. Once we're inside, we walk into the den, where he sits awkwardly on a couch.

"Have you heard about Chief Swan's daughter?" he asks casually.

"Of course," I answer stiffly.

"It's a shame. She's all Charlie's got. I hope she's all right," he continues.

"As do I," I agree, sitting in an armchair. He sends me a look of disbelief, a stream of profanity racing through his mind, damning me to hell. I want to tell him that it's too late for that; I'm already in hell.

"Look, we all know you're not here for small talk," sneers Rosalie, who's standing in the entrance of the room. Alice reaches out for her arm, but Rosalie yanks it away and walks over to our visitor. "What do you really want?"

His face shows no sign of emotion. "I suppose you already know."

"Rose," Emmett says, draping an arm across her shoulder and turning her away from Uley. She attempts to spin around, but he restrains her.

"Emmett," she mutters through gritted teeth. Alice gracefully strolls over to the sofa that Sam Uley is sitting in. There's a smile on her face, though I can clearly hear her angry thoughts.

"Surely you haven't come to visit. Tell us why you're here," she says.

"The treaty is broken," he states.

"Oh?" she asks simply.

"We know that one of you is responsible for the death of Isabella Swan," he clarifies.

"And when you say 'we', you mean you and your dog buddies?" Rosalie spits, breaking away from Emmett's grasp.

"When I say 'we', I mean myself and the other Quileutes," he says.

"What makes you think she's dead?" Emmett wonders.

"No one goes missing for two weeks without dying, especially not if your kind are behind it."

"Well, what makes you think we're behind it?" Alice asks politely.

"The door was ripped from its hinges; a few drops of blood were found on the carpet of the living room, despite your obvious attempts to clean the place up. For those of us who know better, it points to vampires," he explains. "And then there was the smell."

"We're not the only vampires in the world," I remind him.

"No," he admits, "but why else would your scent be the one I found throughout the house?" I clench my jaw tightly, trying to restrain myself.

"Why don't we wait for Carlisle in the kitchen?" suggests Jasper. Relax, he thinks, attempting to calm me down.

"That's a good idea," Alice agrees. Come on, we don't want to upset him more. Everyone but Sam Uley files into the kitchen. I lean against the counter, standing completely still, barely daring to breathe. Beneath Jasper's synthetic tranquility, I can feel remorse bubbling to the surface once more; the idea of yet another consequence for my actions is almost unbearable. I avoid looking up at my family, ashamed of what I've done. The moments stretch on for what seems like hours; finally, I hear Carlisle driving up. When he comes through the door, his first thought is that we all must be present as he tries to negotiate with Uley, and he stresses the importance of staying diplomatic. I quietly relay the message to the others before we all walk back into the den, where Carlisle and the werewolf are standing about two feet apart.

"I suppose you know why I'm here?" Uley says.

"Indeed, I do," Carlisle replies.

"One of you has killed a human; the treaty is broken, and we are no longer obligated to keep your existence secret," he explains.

"She's still alive," Rosalie corrects him. Uley's calm expression briefly flashes to one of confusion.

"But she has been bitten?" he asks. Carlisle nods. So she may as well be dead, thinks Uley bitterly.

"She's--" Alice begins.

"One of you now," finishes Uley. He pauses before going on to say, "Either way, the treaty is broken. We are willing to conceal your identities if you meet our demands."

"And what would those be?" Carlisle inquires.

"Only one: stay out of Forks, and out of Washington. Forever."

"And when does 'forever' begin?" I ask.

"Tonight," he answers darkly.

"We can't just up and leave. People will grow suspicious," Alice remarks.

"That is not any concern of mine."

"But it should be. If they find out about us, what is there to hold us to our word? If everyone knows the truth, there's no reason for us to stay away from Forks and nothing to keep us from hunting here," she points out.

"Another week would be ideal," Carlisle agrees. Uley thinks this over before nodding.

"All right. One week, and then you're to stay out of Washington," he says, shaking Carlisle's hand curtly. Without another word, Sam Uley walks out of the house; once we hear him drive away, a collective sigh goes around the room.

Bella Swan

"It's amazing how difficult it is to find a big enough house; everything is either too close to other houses, or it's too small! I suppose a fixer-upper would do, but there's just no time," sighs Esme.

"Don't worry, you're welcome to stay with us as long as you like," Tanya offers, taking a seat next to her on the large couch.

"Oh, but I know how you like to have human company, and with Bella here..." Esme trails off, glancing across the room, where I'm slumped in an oversized armchair. I can't help but scoff inwardly at her word choice, but she is much too polite to openly discuss Tanya's lifestyle.

"Speaking of company," Tanya says, "when were the others supposed to come, again?"

"In three weeks, or so," Esme replies. "I doubt that we'll all be able to live in your house comfortably. It'd be best if I continued searching." With that, she stands up and walks out of the room.

"So, Bella. How are you?" Tanya wonders.

It would be rude to tell her how utterly boring it is to be a vampire, or how my throat constantly feels as though it's on fire. "Fine, I guess," I tell her, shrugging. An awkward silence follows, unbroken until a shrill ringing sound comes from the small cell phone on the coffee table.

"Esme forgot her phone," Tanya mutters, picking it up and holding it to her ear. "Hello, Carlisle. No, she's out house-hunting and left it here by accident. A week? All right, I'll tell her." Noticing my curious expression, she turns to me after hanging up and says, "For some reason, they said they've changed their plans. They'll be up in a week."

"Esme will have a fit," I comment.

Despite the frown on her face, Tanya's features are still breathtaking. I can only stare; at one time, when I first saw my reflection after being transformed, I'd thought myself beautiful, or at least pretty. Now, with the Denali clan, I may as well be a pebble among diamonds; they are almost more beautiful than Rosalie. "Honestly, I don't understand why she rejects my offers so ardently." Eleazar enters the room then, Carmen at his side. He turns to look at me, his brow furrowed in concentration as his eyes focus on mine.

"Will you quit it? It will never work on her," Carmen hisses to her mate. He smiles apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm just so unused to your strange abilities." For the past two weeks, he has desperately been attempting to use his gift on me, but he has failed each time; I make a point not to relax too much around him for fear that he may use his persuasive talents on me. Even he is beautiful, with his delicate bone structure and pink lips and those long, blonde lashes that form halos around his golden eyes. And Carmen is absolutely angelic, her ghostly pale skin surrounded by a head of soft, black curls, her red mouth set in the kindest of smiles.

"Please excuse my husband," she chimes, her voice more pleasant than a harp's song. "It upsets him that he cannot force you into doing whatever he likes."

"It's all right, Carmen. Psychic vampires get testy when their powers don't work," I tease, smirking. It had once been difficult for me to say the word 'vampire', but I'm slowly growing more accustomed to it. She laughs.

"Imagine it--being normal," she says sarcastically, shuddering as she speaks.

"Carmen, dear, where are Irina and Kate?" Tanya wants to know.

"I believe they said something about going to town for a day or two," Carmen answers. It is an unspoken yet clear truth that the other women of the coven are satisfying the lust that cannot be quenched by blood. The constant burning in my throat worsens and venom pools in my mouth at the idea of going to town with all those people...

Seeing the wistful look on my face, Tanya suggests that we all go hunting when Esme returns. I groan at the thought; animal blood soothes the pain, but only temporarily, and the taste is hardly bearable. I can't even begin to imagine how Tanya and her sisters manage to be so close to human men without draining them of their blood.

"Why are the other Cullens coming up so soon?" wonders Eleazar, who undoubtedly listened in on the conversation.

"I'm not sure. Carlisle didn't say why; he just wanted me to pass the message to his wife," Tanya explains. A sly smile plays at her lips. "A little company around here wouldn't be so bad."

"Oh, no, not again," mutters Carmen.

"Am I missing something here?" I ask.

"Yes," says Eleazar, "and you should be grateful for that. By next week...well, you will not be missing out on anything." He grins at me, winking.

This is definitely not good.

Chapter 6

My Singer Update...coming soon, hopefully!

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 01:20:18 GMT

This is just so that everyone knows...I'd originally planned on updating My Singer on Saturday (because I want to try to do an update every week), but I was busy and didn't write very much. I'm working on Chapter 5 now, and it's a bit difficult to write because...well, you'll see ;) . But I've got every chapter pretty much planned out, so don't worry about me neglecting it for eternity or something. If everything goes well, there may be an update by Thursday, but if not, I'll try my very best to either make Chapter 5 really long or post Chapter 5 AND Chapter 6 next Saturday. I'm not making any promises, though, because I have a tendency to fall through on those.

In the meantime, try reading some of my oneshots or reading edwardsangst. It's Edward Cullen's LiveJournal that I've hacked so that everyone can read it for kicks and giggles.