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17 December 2008 @ 04:49 pm
A Dull Aching in the Throat  
I gotta type this before I get distracted.


She could not deny her attraction to him, nor could she acknowledge it.  Instead, it remained within her, in limbo between denial and acknowledgment, afraid to slip from her lips.  It manifested itself sometimes, bubbling to the surface of her exterior; it was the gaze she held for a moment too long, the smile that seemed too forced.

And he felt it.  It surprised him at first.  After all, they were both in their own content relationships...why would she be attracted to him?  He realized that it was more than the usual attraction humans felt toward him; no, this was a heavy, stifling attraction that he felt all around him.  It was so glaringly obvious that he wondered why the others did not sense it.  He buried it in his thoughts, afraid to give it away.  But of course, he never did.

"Bella?" he called, eying the human as she sat in the Cullens' living room.  Her head snapped up and she blushed faintly, creating a subtle contrast of red and white.  She knew that he sensed it there, lingering between them.

"Yes?" she answered, leaning back in the armchair in an attempt to look calm.  In reality, her heart was racing, and it took every ounce of his self control to ignore that glorious sound.  

"Edward's home," he muttered as he heard his brother's car pull up.  It was a warning, a way of reminding her of their respective mates.

"Of course," she said, jumping out of her chair suddenly.  Her scent came hurtling at him, causing him to stiffen in his seat.  As his throat burned, he wondered how something so sweet could cause such an agonizing, throbbing ache.


It took a while for him to realize that the attraction was mutual, though he decided that 'attraction' was much too feeble a word to describe what they both felt.  'Attraction' could not accurately label the dance of hidden meanings and prolonged glances that had become their relationship.  It could not begin to fit the intensity that they shared.  And yet, this word was the only one appropriate for their situation; anything stronger would be an exaggeration.

And he wasn't sure if he was attracted to her or her scent.  Somewhere within his mind, bloodlust and physical lust managed to intertwine, and he didn't know which part was more prevalent.  When he saw her blush, so tantalizing and beautiful all at once, he couldn't decide whether it was her body that tempted him or her blood.

"Jasper," she'd say sometimes, "could you reach that book on the top shelf?" or "Jasper, you wouldn't happen to know where Alice is right now, would you?"  Normal, innocent phrases that would not be suspicious to replay as memories.  But he didn't need telepathy to see the hunger in her eyes, and the expression on her face reminded him eerily of a thirsty newborn's.


She dreamt about him sometimes, and she unsure if she ever spoke his name in her sleep.  Even though she slept in Edward's arms, she didn't see his lips in her dreams, and she certainly did not imagine him touching her...

But he never spoke a word about it, and this left her to wonder whether her subconscious knew better or if he just didn't want to address it.

This was wrong.  No respectable woman imagined another man when she kissed her husband on the day of her wedding.  And when her eyes met his across the room, her face flushing with embarrassment, there was a mutual feeling aside from their attraction, one which can only be described as a dull aching in the throat that was caused by neither thirst nor tears of joy.
melissacullenmelissacullen on December 17th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
Been a long time gone: Ana prettytempered_rose on December 20th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
Wow...that was great. =)
I loved it! :)